The Value of Gifts

And how to measure it.

“All gifts should be money!”

“Why?”, I reply.

“Because then the giftee can buy whatever they want. There’s no danger of giving the wrong gift.”, answers my friend.

Something felt wrong, or at least incomplete, about what my friend said. But it didn’t occur to me at the time. So, I said nothing.

But a few days later I did realize the problem with his argument. It goes something like this.

The value of gifts has a second component beyond the objective value of the thing given.

This second component is the effort and expertise the giver puts into the gift.

For example, the giver might take great trouble to find the gift — even if the value of the gift is not very much.

(Update) As Pierre said,

In terms of effort — say you bring me an apple pie. Between bringing an expensive pie from the best bakery in town, vs making a poor attempt yourself because you’re no expert baker — no hesitation, I’ll appreciate the homemade one much, much more. Spending money at a store, I can do it myself anytime.

Also, the giver might have special expertise as to how to find the gift, or special knowledge from whom or where-from the gift can be procured.

Hence, when valuing a gift, we must factor in this second “giver value” component.

I would even add a third component to the value of a gift — which I’ll call the “Little Drummer Boy” component, after the famous Christmas carol.

In the lyrics, the singer relates how, as a poor young boy, he was summoned by the Magi to the Nativity of Jesus. Without a gift for the Infant, the little drummer boy played his drum with approval from Jesus’ mother, Mary, recalling, “I played my best for him” and “He smiled at me”. — Wikipedia

In other words, the value put on a gift must be proportional to the giving abilities of the giver. A small gift from a poor person (like the drumming of the little drummer boy) has a lot more value than a big gift from a rich person. This third component applies to both money and non-money gifts.

Gifts probably have many other types of value. What have I missed?