A Peaceful Guide to Deal with Different People.

I think the number 1 factor that keeps human bonds alive is difference.

Without it, there will be no point in having conversations and building relationships.

I mean won’t it be boring to ALWAYS be on the same page without having an opposition that challenges our way of thinking.

However, the way you both deal with that difference is what defines the future and the quality of a relationship.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I was having this exact issue with a dear person of mine: we literally weren’t able to have a serious conversation without getting angry at how different the other person was seeing things.

So here are some ways I considered dealing with that:

The first thing to consider is to make sure you both have the purpose of growing that relationship and therefore you are ready to do whatever it takes to make it bloom.

Setting this common intention will help you put the ego aside and stop disagreeing just to disagree and instead have unbiased opinions.

Showing rather than telling.

Sometimes it’s better to take a break from talking and trying to convince and start showing rather than telling.

  • Say you wanna convince your friend that going to college and getting a 9to5 job is not the only way to be successful.

Instead of giving them arguments and examples on how it’s possible to succeed in life by taking other roads, show them : work your heart off, make money and be happy and then they’ll see it, they’ll believe it . Stop bragging and get to work!

  • Say you wanna convince your parents to let you go to that trip with your friends and every time you bring the subject up they get angry and refuse.

Try showing them that you are responsible and trustworthy by behaving more honestly and assuming your own responsibilities more. Show don’t tell. I promise it works.

“The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion.” ~Paulo Coehlo.

Start with what you both believe in.

Now when actually sitting down to have a conversation, start with what you both believe in, find a common ground to start from.

Know what your interlocutor believes in and what they’re passionate about and start from there.

Tell them that they may be right but that they’re missing on a detail, invite them to see things from a different perspective.

Mix persuasion and conviction to bring them closer to your point of view.

And perhaps you’ll need a lot of conversations before they see your point, don’t give up from the first.

Also, don’t forget to see things from their point of view and really consider it.

Again, don’t get your ego involved.

Make love your start and finish line.

Sometimes loving comes in the form of giving space and resisting the urge of trying to change minds and save people.

Just giving enough space and peaceful support for them to grow and gain perspective.

Other times, loving comes in the form of seeking for beautiful qualities in the other person that you can find inspiration in.

Overlooking the bad and the different instead of creating enemies out of them.

For instance, admire and compliment their generosity instead of complaining and getting offended by their stubbornness and so on.

Start with love and end with it.