Test Article
The comeback after the 3-year writing break
It’s been a while.
I’ve been wanting to get back to writing and publishing my work for some time now. But as I try to pick out the theme and the writing style, I get stuck.
So instead of being held back by my overthinking — my wanting to write a good piece if not a ‘perfect’ piece— I chose to DO, to just write.
“Let’s do a test article,” I told myself.
That way I won’t feel like the stakes are too high and I don’t set unnecessary pressure on myself. I’d treat it as an exercise to warm up my writing muscles. After all, I could only get better with practice — with doing things and not just thinking about them.
Recently, I’ve been so immersed in my experiments in the lab (I work in an environmental chemical engineering laboratory) and I do get to reflect a lot on my graduate school journey.
During this period, I am experiencing the “10,000 hours” of work/practice to become a master, an expert, in my field. And while failure is abundant, and the tasks could get physically and mentally draining, I can’t imagine myself going this far without the supportive environment that I am in.
The journey doesn’t feel too hard, too lonely, and too discouraging because of the company that I have along the way. Any destination no matter how far or how high is reachable. It’s possible. That’s what a good environment has taught me.
When I applied for graduate school, I wrote in my applications that I wanted to have a “Morrie” in my life [from the book Tuesdays with Morrie], to have such a mentor who impacts the lives of his students even beyond the walls of the classroom and the institution. And here I am. The universe did send its forces my way and led me to the right people at the right time and place.
Before even moving to Japan while the borders were still closed, my supervisor often told me during our meetings, “Tanoshinde kudasai” (Please enjoy./ Have fun!) in response to my frequent remark “Ganbarimasu!” which roughly translates to “I will do my best!” (It just felt so natural for me to say that phrase to every task or responsibility that came my way.)
While conversing in Japanese, he told me:
If you enjoy what you do, you will get better at it and your effort will then show in your work.
As a pretty intense student like myself, I just laughed when I first heard what he said. It didn’t click to me. Knowing how serious and stubborn I was (still am), I’d most probably still do things my way and take everything so seriously, planning every single detail — from the volume of readings that I have to cover, to the number of rehearsals that I’d do before a presentation for a class or a seminar. My system didn’t fully digest what he said.
But seeing my supervisor in action, I slowly came to understand what he meant.
I used to hold an African proverb so dearly that it guided my values and principles for a certain season in my life. It goes:
“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”
I have now made my own version of this proverb. In this chapter, I tell myself:
“If you want to go far, enjoy the ride.”
Honor my journey and enjoy the work that I do. Don’t be too hard on myself. It’s possible to be serious and enjoy my work at the same time.
My 25-year-old self understands this now but I bet my 16-year-old self wouldn’t have appreciated and applied such advice and still insist on doing things her way.
Yet, I know right now that while I am more aware and wiser than before, I’ve still got a long way to go. And the quest for knowledge, for wisdom, and for impact continues.
P.S. I hope to influence my environment, my family, and my friends to keep dreaming big and to always be on their way to fulfilling their potential. And with this piece, I am taking my first step.
