On Mountains, Rivers, and Waterfalls
Notes of a Novice Meditator
Mountains
There are many handbooks and treatises on how to meditate on one’s breath (a.k.a. Anapanasati). Many recommend mastering the practice in stages.
A handbook that I follow recommends the following via negativa:
- Exclude thoughts of past and future
- Exclude inner commentary
- Exclude all attention but that on breathing
At first, I thought that stages were hurdles to conquer. Like climbing a mountain. You first conquer the lower part of the mountain. And then you climb the middle section. And so on. You can’t get to a stage without completing the previous stage.
At first glance, this felt true. But for some reason, the analogy of the mountain felt misleading. I contemplated why.
And then I realised that the reality was less like a mountain, and more like a river. It was less like climbing up, and more like flowing down.
Rivers
You didn’t really have to “conquer” one stage and then conquer the next stage. You just needed to “be in” one stage, and the next stage seemed to flow naturally and seamlessly. Like flowing down a river.
And sometimes there were even waterfalls. Sudden bursts of progress. Usually, when you least expected. You were enjoying yourself on a calm river, and then suddenly a waterfall.
Let me explain.
Thoughts of past, future and present are like naughty children in a classroom. Mindfulness is the teacher. The fewer the naughty children, the easier for the teacher to manage the class. With past and future safely marched off to the principal’s office, the present is far more likely to behave.
Similarly, almost all of our conscious thoughts refer to memories. When we think “that is a horn of a bus” we are connecting with many memories of horns, busses and other things. These memory associations are with past or future. If the past and future are banished, there is little need for commentary.
And hence with excluding thoughts of past and future, we gently flow down the waterfall leading to excluding inner thoughts.
The Second Waterfall
What does a mind with no past, future, or thought feel like? And how would it be aware of breathing?
When we visit a doctor with a chest complaint, and she holds a stethoscope to our chest and says “breathe”, we breathe. We brace ourselves, take in a deep gulp of air, and breathe out dramatically. Usually with sound-effects to match.
This “breathing” is very different from the “breathing” that happens in breadth meditation. In the former, we anticipate the big breath. In the future. We also picture breathing and visits to the doctor in the past. Hence, past and future are not banished. We also “think”. Thus, there is inner commentary too.
So, how, then, would a mind with no past, future, or thought be aware of breathing?
For a start, there can be no association with a memory of past breathing or breath. Nor anticipation of future thought. All there can be is a subtle awareness of the present state of the breathing process. A state that has no name. Only a state. And one that is momentary.
And why is such an awareness inevitable as falling down another waterfall on a river?
For a mind with no future, past or thought, there is very little going on. But one thing we can’t get away from is breathing, for without breath we die. And so, the mind naturally catches on to breath. And since it is aware of the breathing that is “now”, it cannot be aware of anything else. Hence, it excludes all else.
And down another waterfall.
The journey to the sea
And what happens next? Do we exclude breathing? And suffocate?
If you’re interested in the rest of the journey, I’d recommend that you try some meditation experiments yourself. As I said, there are many useful handbooks. I use Mindfulness, Bliss, and Beyond: A Meditator’s Handbook by Ajahn Brahm, myself.
Happy Travels!
