Hosts with the most

A host has no accountability for what is produced when a group works together, has no destination in mind, and has no deadline by which to get to this non-destination. This sounds like a recipe for not getting much done. Far from it.

Hosting, we learnt at Co-Lab’s November 2019 training course, is setting up spaces and processes which are flexible enough to allow groups of people to come together and decide for themselves what work will be done and how they will do it — to self-organise. In this way, hosting is an act of relationship building and listening which welcomes diverse voices to the work at hand and which creates space and time for new ideas to emerge. While it has the potential to be slow and messy and scary, it is a way of working which truly recognises and unleashes the power of a group.

As new practitioners of this art, here are some key things we learnt:

Stories over labels — Caroline

One of my key takeaways is the power of storytelling. Over the three days, I got to experience how stories foster relationships and enable deeper conversations.

On the first day, instead of introducing ourselves with our role and organisation, we were invited to share a story of where we are in life at this moment symbolized by a picture we chose. This approach highlighted common experiences between participants without assigning any labels or categories and thus quickly accelerated connection between a large group of strangers.

During another task, we were encouraged to remember stories about a time when we felt safe and a time when we felt unsafe. These stories were a great way to ground what could easily have become an abstract discussion about culture in reality.

Finally, stories can be a helpful tool in divisive situations. As specific examples of personal experiences, they build empathy and understanding even amongst people with quite different views. It’s easy to disagree with an opinion. It’s more difficult to disagree with a personal account of an experience. Stories humanize and connect us and I will be looking for ways to integrate them in my professional practice.

Check yourself — Colin

Why am I always doing everything? This must be one of the most common reasons why self-organising groups fall apart. One person or a small group of people end up taking on the bulk of the work and this, they tell us while sighing, is obviously the fault of the lazier people in the group.

A light bulb moment for me was when our trainers invited us to ask if this was always the case. Rather, could it be that some people actually crave control and are scared by silence? How comfortable are they relinquishing control and providing space for other people to step up in to? Good hosting and self-organising can be uncomfortable work. It requires us to trust that someone will indeed step up and if no one does, well then perhaps that particular task was not that important. This very article is a case in point — a bit late, but it was written in the end.

This trust in the group, I’ve learnt, is underpinned by two essential things: strong relationships and identifiable self-interest. Storytelling, as Caroline has described, is one tool used to help build relationships. Self-interest, on the other hand, is what binds groups together and motivates them to act. Put simply, if someone has skin in the game, they’re much more likely to step up when the time comes.

All of this reconfirms for me and strong On Purpose lesson: that hosting and working well in groups is also taking the time to work on yourself — being aware of how you tend to behave in group settings, investing in relationships, and interrogating, articulating and sharing your self-interest.

Would you like to learn the art of hosting?

These are just some of the things we learnt in the three day workshop run by Community CoLab and the Social Change Agency. If you’re interested, take a look at their website for their next training sessions.

http://www.communitycolab.co.uk

Or if this way of working speaks to you, it would be great to grab a coffee and connect: colin.atkinson@onpurpose.london

Written by: Colin Atkinson and Caroline Wierzejska