“Watching the English”: Rules to follow (and ignore) to succeed at work in London

The English are a bewildering species, claims the multicultural, mixed-nationality Nadia Laabs, Oct ’14 Associate, who offers some tips for navigating culture shock in the workplace.

The book “Watching the English” by Kate Fox became my bible when I moved to London. Not only did it explain the norms and habits that would help me become more socially accepted (e.g. no smiling on the Tube), but also those in the workplace that could either help my productivity or work against me. Sometimes, though, you need to stir something up to make an impact, so here’s what I’ve learned about which rules to follow and which to break.

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Whatever you do, don’t make eye contact (photo: Ronja Altmann)[/caption]

1. The Tea Drinking Rule

At our hot-desking office, my neighbours often surprised me by avoiding eye contact with me when I first sat down. Then, before they even knew my name, they’d ask: “Would you like some tea?” According to the book, the English need a vast quantity of tea to be productive. For you outsiders though, this is a GREAT opportunity to go to the kitchenette to “help them” — that’s when you can get to know each other. This is how I met about 80% of my colleagues; kitchen chats resulted in many helpful business-related discussions I wouldn’t have had otherwise.

2. The Rule of Not Disagreeing About the Weather

Turns out, talking about the weather isn’t actually about the weather, but more of a conversation starter or to break awkward silences. And this specific rule is that you CANNOT disagree with someone about the weather. If they say, “My, it’s quite chilly today, isn’t it?”, you DO NOT respond with, “No, I don’t think it’s that cold.” Conversation stopper right there. And they probably won’t like you. Ever. If you actually disagree with them, you must FIRST agree, THEN skew the statement: “Yes, it IS quite chilly… but it’s quite a nice change from all that hot weather we’ve been having!” This also goes for discussions at work, i.e.: “I can see where you’re coming from, but…”. It’s much more likeable — and they might even agree with you after.

3. The Indirectness Rule and the Rule about Queue Jumping

Perhaps I’m too American (German? Dutch?), but by golly, if there’s something you want to tell me, just tell me. I’ve noticed a couple of times that feedback on what I should and should not be working on came via quite indirect routes. This is inefficient and leads to a lot of wasted effort — and it reminds me of the “Queue jumping rule”. When someone jumps a queue, instead of calling the person out, the English just tut about it to their neighbours. Do something about it! Break. This. Rule. I’m sure there must be a benefit to indirectness, but so far I haven’t discovered it.

4. The Rule of Pub Behaviour and Office Parties

Want to find out how your co-workers and boss REALLY feel about something? Go to a pub. It’s like a segue into another dimension where suddenly the English feel like they can say anything and actually show their emotions. I’ve found it a great place to brainstorm how to solve problems or even to have one-on-one feedback sessions. I wouldn’t recommend office parties for this necessarily — they’re more the extreme version of this. Like if you need to get blackmail-worthy material from them…