“It Took Me Two Years to Realize My Boyfriend Was Racist”
“On July 4th, Matt took me to a family reunion potluck at his uncle’s house. His aunt and uncle greeted me in the same friendly manner.
His relatives complimented me on my “exotic” looks. I wanted to frown, but instead, I smiled and thanked them…Although Matt did not use racial slurs against me or tell me I was unequal because I’m Asian, he had racial biases that prevented him from seeing people of color as the same as him. He didn’t think minorities should be afforded equal opportunities because he benefited from white privilege and wanted to maintain that. He viewed me as an exception, someone who could pass as white, even though his family didn’t.”
I have been thinking a lot about the frustrating distinction between friendliness and kindness recently — if someone is friendly, it is so hard to call out their behavior. This story is also all of my anxieties about people.
