Will This Pain Matter 10 Years From Now?
Finding a balance between self-love and letting go
He told me I needed to date other men so he had to let me go. Really, he just wanted someone else and didn’t have the guts or honesty to tell me.
I didn’t realize it then. How could I? I was too caught up in being in love with this person that the sun rose and set with him as far as I was concerned.
Maybe I should have taken a hint when I noticed that the interest had started to wane, the gaps between phone calls and texts were slowly but steadily increasing from several times a day to a perfunctory one or two.
But instead, I made up excuses on his behalf — he was caught up with work, or busy with other things while deliberately ignoring the alarm bells clanging at the back of my mind.
The alternative of thinking I had been a shiny object who had lost its shine or a mere gap filler was too heartbreaking to even consider. So, I continued sending him long, winding sensory-rich texts and getting one-worded replies in return until suddenly that too petered out.
I haven’t heard from him since.
I thought I was stronger than this. So what if he didn’t choose me? I’d choose myself over him any day and throw away memories of this expired romance…
