Everyone Who Lives in Oakland Hates Articles Like This
If you live in Oakland, you probably hate articles with headlines like this: “Oakland is the new urban hot spot as San Francisco homes get too pricey.”
Published by Market Watch, the piece is condescending to residents from the jump. The first sentence is, simply, “Have you noticed?”
Noticed what?
That people are finally noticing Oakland is a cool city to live and work?
Have we noticed longtime residents are frequently being forced out on the street because Ellis Act Evictions are lit? Have we noticed that the former Sears building, currently being renovated for Uber’s Oakland headquarters, is cocooned in ominous white sheeting?
Yeah, we’ve noticed. How could we not?
We also noticed the Market Watch article was written by a “top-producing realtor for over 25 years in the San Francisco Bay Area.” The author “consistently ranks in the Top 100 and has earned Coldwell Banker’s International President’s Elite award, attained only by 2% of Coldwell Banker sales associates worldwide.”
Translation: They’ve been chasing checks in the San Francisco housing market, which has seized for all but the few fortunate. Always looking toward the future, it’s time for realtors to fuck up some commas in Oakland.
Thanks for conferring that “people and businesses are crossing the bridge from San Francisco’s high prices in search of more affordable solutions.” How long will the solutions be affordable — thus remaining solutions — if realtors are writing so jubilantly about the uncharted wilderness that is Oakland?
Citing Zumper’s National Rent Report, the article reported that “rents in Oakland surged 20% this past year, more than any other major city studied.” If that doesn’t sound hella apocalyptic, peep this: “Renters face steep hikes all over the nation, but Oakland’s jump has been the most dramatic, according to Zumper.”
To soften the blow, the article adds that “Oakland and the surrounding areas are not cheap, but they are less expensive than San Francisco and Silicon Valley, and they are served by public transportation.”
About that. There are some people who need more than one brushing to get rid of morning breath, so unless you want to be forced to do unsanctioned sniff tests, you better catch that commuter train into the city before 8 a.m.
The comments for the article, though, made me feel better.
Don’t worry, John. Oakland DFWU.
[Thanks for reading. This story originally appeared on ripple.co. If you like what you read, please check out more of our stories.]
