The Tuesday: Week Four

This week’s edition of The Tuesday is going to be balanced a little different than last week’s. Due to some shitty circumstances (fiancee’s car was tagged & then, after we got it cleaned off, it wouldn’t start), I wasn’t able to watch the noon games, aside from a tiny bit of 4th quarter action when I ducked into a bar to get some tater tots, & I wasn’t able to watch the afternoon games at all. BUT! I can talk about that London game & I can talk about the Saints OT win & I can talk about MNF.

Bye, Joe, or The NFL Goes To Europe Again

Joe Philbin wasn’t left at Heathrow after the Dolphins fired him. I didn’t actually expect he would be, but it seemed like an option in the closing minutes of Jets/Dolphins.

I keep talking about how I expected big things from the Dolphins — 11–5 & a Wildcard, a top ten defense. All of this required two things, though: Tannehill making The Leap, which seems like it’s probably not going to happen at this point, just as it hasn’t happened for a Dolphins QB (sorry Henne) since Dan Marino. It’ll happen again — as long as the NFL doesn’t suddenly stop existing, a team like the Dolphins will eventually find another franchise QB…

Here’s a new thing I’m trying. In my essay workshop, I’m working in the segmented essay form. I’m going to occasionally introduce these little segments that are asides from the main point but connect to something I just said. They’ll b]e in italics. This one is about franchise QBs.

Let’s look at what teams have never had someone that could be considered a franchise QB. Like, EVER (or at least in the Super Bowl-era ). Never had a QB that could be considered a top QB.

Baltimore: Is Joe Flacco elite? I don’t know. I don’t think I’m ready, despite the SB ring, to put him on an all-time best list.

Cincinnati. Cleveland. Jacksonville & Houston are too new — Mark Brunell & Matt Schaub both had good seasons, but I wouldn’t consider either to be a franchise options. Between Moon & co-MVP McNair, the Titans are probably covered. The whole AFC East has had one. AFC West too.

In the NFC, the Giants count, even though people hate all over Eli Manning, because they’ve won a couple of titles. The Eagles borderline count because McNabb had his bad times, but he was consistently good for awhile. Washington hasn’t had one in recent memory & Sammy Baugh is too far back for us to count. Chicago — umm, yeah, maybe Chicago has never had a franchise QB? Cutler? McMahon? Let’s call them a maybe. THE LIONS, check. I said SB-era, so Fran Tarkenton counts for the Vikings. The Panthers might have one in a few years, in Cam keeps it up. The Falcons — ya know, I’m going to give Matt Ryan the benefit of the doubt here. Tampa. Maybe Seattle. Arizona?

The point here is that finding a franchise QB is hard, but also most teams find good QBs eventually. The Dolphins had Marino & eventually they’ll get someone who is not-Marino, but still a top five-seven QB.

… & it required Lamar Miller to keep playing like he was at the end of last season. That hasn’t happened. Miller’s got 131 yards & no TDs in four games, which means he’s tied with Bilal Powell in yardage, a /solid/ 38th in the NFL, behind such great players: Alfred Blue, Dion Lewis, James Starks & also three QBs.

It’s probably too early to know if the Jets are a good team, & Ryan Fitzpatrick could always break down, but they looked good against Miami, on both sides of the ball. Maybe just every team does — Jacksonville did beat them — or maybe the Jets are for real.

So, Joe Philbin is gone. The Dolphins return from London in freefall.

Wasn’t there a rumor of Harbaugh to Miami? & then Dolphins owner Stephen Ross stood behind Philbin, & then Harbaugh went to Michigan, where Ross is a HUGE donor? Anything shady there? No?

Jason Garrett’s Late Game Coaching

I’m not a Cowboys fan. At all. AT ALL AT ALL. But I was a big fan of Jason Garrett’s coaching decisions at the end of the fourth quarter, even if they didn’t lead to OT.

First, his use of timeouts. On one hand, it gave the Saints time to set up plays, but it also helped them get out of rhythm. Chopped things up. It also seemed like he had an end game in mind — use your timeouts to stop the clock on the early downs, hope the Saints run a third down play & accidentally run the clock down too far to get a good field goal attempt off. The Saints weren’t that dumb, but the Cowboys tried. New Orleans missed the field goal.

Second, kneeling at the end. The Cowboys had already lost Lance Dunbar to injury. Yeah, #YouPlayToWinTheGame — GUESS WHAT THEY WERE. Playing for OT with Weeden at QB was the right call, regardless of what happened

Kam Chancellor Needs Money & The NFL Needs To Understand The Rules

I try not to shit on the refs too much, but their failure to call the Seahawks for illegally batting a ball out of the end zone was terrible, right?

Kam Chancellor, who probably should get paid more now — though the NFL doesn’t care much about their workforce, so probably not — makes a great play to knock a (probably, with how bad Seattle’s offense had been) game-winning TD out of Calvin Johnson’s hands. The ball bounces — pretty clearly, it’s heading out the back of the end zone, it’s going to be a touchback, the Seahawks are going to escape with a win because KAM CHANCELLOR GIVE HIM MONEY HE IS THE NFL DEFENSIVE MVP ALREADY IN ONLY TWO GAMES.’

Problem: K.J.Wright touches the ball. He probably doesn’t have to. If he just grabs it & goes down, it’s a touchback. If he lets it go without touching it, touchback. If he slaps the ball out of bounds? HEY, that’s a penalty! Lions ball.

K.J. Wright getting away with that call both did & didn’t cost the Lions the game. It didn’t in the sense that the ball, had he not touched it, does exactly what the ball did when he did touch it. The Lions lose that game if Wright doesn’t touch the ball.

Problem: The NFL has a lot of rules & they need to actually enforce them. Maybe K.J. Wright should be allowed to bat the ball out of the end zone. It’s a natural response. It’s what I would have done.

It’s also against NFL rules. Detroit should have had the ball at the one yard line, even if what Wright did wasn’t an egregious foul.

& again — give Kam the money.

Houston.

Damn it.

Unbeaten Power Rankings

1. New England Patriots
2. Green Bay Packers
3. Atlanta Falcons
4. Denver Broncos
5. Cincinnati Bengals
6. Carolina Panthers

Random Thoughts

Since I wasn’t really able to watch the games, here is a list of players whose performance disappointed me in fantasy football & in real life:

• Frank Gore
• Odell
• Jordan Reed
• Mike Evans
• Miami
• Ryan Mallett
• The rest of the Texans.
• Sammy Watkins
• The Texans