WTF Just Happened in Sports?! PT II
You know, I wrote the first WTF article not completely sure that there would be enough weird stories in sports to maintain a consistent column…
BOY WAS I WRONG.
Here are some of the stories from the past two weeks that made me pause and just scratch my head.
NY Jets Owner Woody Johnson Named US Ambassador to United Kingdom
Wait, what? This is the same Woody Johnson who has run the Jets organization into the ground? Mr. Johnson, as many of us know, was the heir apparent to assume the role of President for pharmaceutical conglomerate Johnson & Johnson after his father served in the same role. His career has obviously taken a turn toward politics, and I still just don’t understand this move, but hey, what do I know?
As a plus for all of the hapless Jets fans out there, Woody will undoubtedly have less time to meddle in his team’s affairs. Hopefully baby bro Christopher Wold Johnson will have better luck — but it’s the Jets, so probably not.
Former NFL Safety John Lynch Named 49ers GM Despite No Exec Experience
The San Francisco 49ers have found their new General Manager, and it’s none other than John Lynch, a former Pro Bowl safety for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Denver Broncos.
Some background: the 49ers had been searching for a new GM, and had narrowed down their search to two candidates — neither of them Lynch. Apparently Mr. Lynch called up the 49ers and soon-to-be-coach Kyle Shanahan to volunteer himself for the gig. Who knew that strategy works? SOMEONE GET THE GIANTS ON THE HORN FOR ME.
On top of Lynch securing an unprecedented six-year deal (unheard of for a person with absolutely zero front office experience), he’s also eligible for the NFL Hall of Fame for the first time this year. Talk about a hot streak.
While Lynch may very well prove to be up for the job, the odds are against him based on his lack of experience in this role (see: Matt Millen). Most GMs rise through the ranks to the position via scouting departments or business backgrounds — neither of which Lynch possesses.
We all know that the NFL is a “What Have You Done For Me Lately” business, and first year GMs and Head Coaches are already faced with intense scrutiny to prove their worth. With that in mind, Lynch will have to show he belongs sooner rather than later, so watch out for the 49ers to make a splash ASAP, most likely at the QB position.
Look out for the Niners to select UNC QB Mitch Trubisky, however there’s always uncertainty with a rookie QB and Lynch needs to show improvement in his first 2–3 years, so I’d expect them to search for a solution via free agency or via a trade.
BOLD PREDICTION: the Niners trade their #2 overall pick to the Patriots for Jimmy Garoppolo.
Golfers Reach A New Level Of Lazy
The Uro golf club isn’t necessarily a new product, but its infomercial caught my eye while I was flipping through the channels the other night.
For those, like me, who are unfamiliar with the UroClub, here’s a product description we pulled from their site:
“The UroClub™ is the discrete, sanitary way for your urgent relief. Created by a Board Certified Urologist, it looks like an ordinary golf club, but contains a reservoir built into the grip to relieve yourself. The UroClub™ is leak proof, easy to clean and no more embarrassing moments.”
…….
What happened to the good ol’ days when you’d purposefully shank a shot into the woods to relieve yourself? Man, times…they are a changing.
Well, we now know that there will forever be nonsensical stories for us to work through together. And don’t worry, we’ll be here to help you make sense of them, or at least, laugh maniacally at the world we live in. Until next time, folks.
