17 Manipulative Statements You Hear Growing Up in a Dysfunctional Family
#15 That’s god paying you back
If you grew up in a dysfunctional family without boundaries these shame-based statements will undoubtedly ring true. They are designed to ensure you know you are not an individual but a leg of the giant sea monster that is your family.
I internalized these — and it wasn’t until I became a parent I realized how dangerous these seemingly harmless statements are. These will limit children in developing their own sense of self, and the confidence to make good life decisions.
#1 We don’t have secrets in this house.
Everything must be shared in the family without boundaries so that the head of the family can decide what is best for the family brand. Nothing is private and if they think there’s anything you’re keeping secret, they will get it out of you.
Once past an age where you’re not as eager to please your parents and simple manipulative strategies no longer work, more advanced spyware becomes necessary. My parents would read my diary, listen to phone conversations and get me drunk so that I would tell them everything that was going on in my life and my head.
