5 Reasons Secure People Need to Be Careful Choosing a Partner

“In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.” — Deepak Chopra

Image by summerstock from Pixabay

Secure people supposedly get the best deal in love.

After all, they’re the ones who’ve been primed for success. Good parenting, sound attachment-style modelling, healthy and consistent lessons in emotional management.

But is it true? Hmmm. Yes, emotional security can give you a headstart in love. It can mean you have stability, trust and emotional availability in your relationship ‘backpack” which are all desirable traits.

But in my work as a psychologist I’ve seen many secure people make relationship choices that have led to confusion and all sorts of problems. In fact, it may be their very steadiness that attracts partners of the polar opposite kind.

Does that ring a bell for you? If so, show yourself some compassion. There are a number of reasons why secure people — all people, actually — can have unexpected struggles in love.

Here are the top five reasons.

“And I can’t be running back and fourth forever between grief and high delight.”― J.D. Salinger