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Frenemies: What to Do With Friends Who (Secretly) Hurt You
Be careful who you call your friends.
You feel overwhelmed at work so you confide in your work buddy, telling her you’re thinking of asking the boss for extra support. She listens, gives you a hug and reassures you that she’s here for you.
The next day, you find out she went straight to your boss, telling them you’re struggling and might be out of your depth — and that she might be better placed to take over your job.
Later, when you confront her about breaching your trust, she laughs it off: “Oh, I was just trying to help! I thought you’d want them to know so they could support you.”
You’re confused. But not THAT confused. You’ve been gaslit and you’ve discovered your workmate is not the friend you thought she was — she’s a frenemy.
Frenemy — a hybrid term for friend and enemy — refers to a person who acts like they’re in your corner, while secretly sabotaging you. The key here is the pretence. They’re not who they want you to think they are.
And, in some ways frenemies can be just as bad — if not worse — than actual enemies. It’s extremely painful when someone who’s supposed to love, or be supportive, of you acts in ways that are hurtful, untrustworthy, or backstabbing.
