How to Tell Your Inner “I Can’t” to Shut Up

An antidote to the voice of self doubt

Karen Nimmo
Published in
4 min readSep 19, 2024

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Image by Wolfgang Eckert on Pixabay

Do you ever catch yourself thinking you’re not smart enough?

Perhaps it’s that you’re not qualified enough? Not interesting enough? Not attractive enough? Not good enough?

Course you do. Most of us, at some point, fall prey to nagging self-doubt or criticism — or struggle with flaky self-belief that tells us we’re not up to the challenge.

Most of us have moments when we slip into “I can’t” mode, when we’re face to face with tough times or challenges that feel out of our league — or pay grade.

A little “I can’t” thinking is normal. (People who have no self-doubt at all should come with yellow warning stickers.) But when it becomes a habit it can affect our mental health, and limit us in work, relationships and life.

When we’re feeling good — like when we’ve been promoted at work or in a promising new relationship — it can pick at our psyche until insecurity causes us to sabotage our own happiness.

“Anyone who ever gave you confidence, you owe them a lot.” — Truman Capote

Blame your past (a bit)

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Karen Nimmo

Clinical psychologist, author of 4 books. Editor of On the Couch: Practical psychology for health and happiness. karen@onthecouch.co.nz