Many Men Don’t Have Friends. Is It Normal?

A psychologist’s tips for making friends when you’re feeling lonely

Photo by Anne Nygård on Unsplash

“He’s a typical guy,” my client said.

I waited. That could be the introductory sentence to almost any male behaviour — problematic or not.

But she was talking about his lack of friends. “It’s not that he’s anti-social, he gets on well with all sorts of people. He just doesn’t make the effort to stay in touch with his mates.”

Now, I’ve heard both sides of this coin. I’ve heard from people who are unhappy because their partners spend way too much time with their mates. Doing things they really wish they didn’t.

But I’ve heard both clients and friends mention their partners were short on close connections, that they’d like them to have more social contact of their own.

But are men lonely? Or is that an urban myth?

Is there a male loneliness epidemic?

Possibly, but loneliness — obviously — is not confined to men.

Increasing struggles with social connection are also reported by young people (18–30), older adults (65 plus), marginalised and minority groups, singles, caregivers, stay-at-home and remote workers, people with chronic illnesses…