Member-only story
My Kid Hurt My Feelings. What Should I Do?
“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” ― James Baldwin
You plan a holiday as a treat for the family.
When you get there, your preadolescent kids argue and sulk with you, refusing some activities and nagging for screen time. They say it’s a “dumb, boring” holiday and can’t wait to get home.
It causes tension between you and your partner; you feel angry at the waste of time and money, disrespected by everyone and bruised by your kids’ ingratitude.
At a deeper level there’s a niggling thought you keep to yourself: Is my kids’ behaviour reflecting my parenting? Am I doing something wrong?
This is a story often heard in therapy. Parenting may not be officially rated the hardest job in the world (firefighting has that tag) — but it’s got to be up there.
Even if you willingly signed on, there’s no job description, brutal hours, poor pay, uncertainty, worry — often for little thanks. Oh yes, and you can’t quit if you don’t like your crew.
But one of the most difficult feelings is the hurt our kids can cause because it pricks at our core vulerabilities. It can also impact how…
