Struggling With Your Partner? Try the Sixth Love Language

Nobody talks about this way of communicating — and they should

Image by Luca from Pixabay

“He won’t talk to me,” my client said.

She was speaking about her partner of 25 years. They were having difficulties in their relationship — nothing specific, just a slow, rolling disconnect.

She wanted to talk about it — to discuss ways to improve things — but every time she raised it he avoided her, or shut down.

“I don’t see how we can resolve anything like this. I talk too much, he talks too little. We’re just stuck in a loop, and it’s pushing up further and further apart.

“The last time I raised it, he just said: ‘I’m tired of talking about it. Maybe we should separate?’”

Tools, anyone?

Communication problems are always at — or near — the top of the list when couples sign on for therapy.

It’s always struck me that the same people who say they can’t communicate with their partner are very often skilled communicators. At work, and with their friends, they fly. The words come easily.

So it’s not them as individuals. It’s the dynamic between them. Over time, that dynamic has become so gnarly, so sensitive, that they are not able to…