On The Couch

Practical psychology for health and happiness. Owned/Edited by clinical psychologist and writer Karen Nimmo.

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Take the Test: Are You an Emotionally Mature Partner?

“Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.” –Robert Frost

Karen Nimmo
On The Couch
Published in
4 min readFeb 13, 2025

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Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

Are you emotionally mature in relationships?

Look, most of us want to nod our heads to that question; we want the stamp of approval. Or, at least we don’t want to admit we’re in the other camp.

But emotional maturity is a hard-earned badge. It takes a lifetime to develop, cultivate and maintain. It often costs us a few relationships along the way.

So I was impressed when a young woman signed on for therapy recently, saying she wanted to be a better partner — in an emotional sense. She understood (correctly) that her inability to manage her emotions was holding her back.

She’d had a string of unhealthy — if not toxic — relationships which had brought the worst of her to the surface. Now, she’d found someone “really worth hanging onto.”

“Honestly,” she said, “I’m too emotional. Tears, anger, all of it. Little things wind me up. I over-react. It’s not fair to him. I just want to be a less chaotic person.”

How to (not) bring the chaos

“Your emotions are the…

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On The Couch
On The Couch

Published in On The Couch

Practical psychology for health and happiness. Owned/Edited by clinical psychologist and writer Karen Nimmo.

Karen Nimmo
Karen Nimmo

Written by Karen Nimmo

Clinical psychologist, author of 4 books. Editor of On the Couch: Practical psychology for health and happiness. karen@onthecouch.co.nz

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