The Key to Rescuing a Dying Relationship, a Therapist Says

Three DIY questions to couples on the brink

Photo by Mindy Sabiston on Unsplash

Most couples who land in therapy are in conflict.

A few sign up to iron out any wrinkles at the outset of their relationship. That’s smart — but rare. Most are gridlocked, have been that way for some time, and can’t find their way forward.

Sometimes, the problems are apparent from the moment they take their seats on the couch. It’s in their body language, it’s in the way they position themselves in the room.

Sometimes, it leaks out slowly as each explains their perspective. Sometimes, a Hell storm is brewing and boundaries need to be set.

So it’s is a delicate dance for a therapist, a challenge to stay neutral and absorb the stories, perspectives and needs of each person.

“A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.” — by Ursula K. Le Guin.

The bottom line

Therapists are often asked whether they can tell if a couple can make it right out of the gate.