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Your Partner Can Change. But Here’s What You’re Stuck With
Six things you need to let go
A woman was frustrated with her partner’s dress sense.
He hated to dress up — even when the occasion called for it. His go-to was old jeans, a tatty t-shirt and well-worn sneakers.
He was good-looking but he didn’t make the most of it. She wanted him to look smarter and, she admitted, she wanted others to be impressed by him.
“Am I being unfair?” she asked. “I know you’re supposed to let people live, to just be who they are. I just think he could try a little harder to look nice for me.”
It was an interesting niggle, which often crops up when two people start to get serious about their relationship. They desperately want “their people” to like their partner so they become more conscious — even critical — of how they present in the world.
But it’s not about being fair. It’s about being honest about what matters to you — for whatever reason. And it’s about seeing your partner clearly, accepting (and loving) who they are and recognising what you can change and what you can’t — and shouldn’t — touch.
Here’s a guide to help.
The things you’ll need to let go
“Letting go doesn’t…
