Your Partner’s Not Cheating, So Why Do You Feel Insecure?
The pain of relationship insecurity.
A confident young man was worried about his relationship.
Everything had been going well but then — from nowhere — he’d had a conversation with his partner that had thrown his anxiety switch.
It was almost nothing, he admitted. She’d done nothing wrong or mean. But he’d gotten the vibe that she wasn’t yet up for making long term plans with him.
“I know what I’m like,” he said. “I’m a bit paranoid. If I start thinking she’s not that into me, I’ll look for ways to get out of it. I’ll pick holes in what is a very good thing.”
“You know”, he said slowly, “there is nothing like relationships for bringing out your insecurity.”
My client was struggling with common problem. He’d been in a couple of relationships previously that were hard work and ended badly. It had left him insecure — “a little paranoid” — with women.
There was something else going on too. He was starting to wonder if he was just no good as a partner, that he wasn’t deserving of a great relationship — when he was.
