You’re Not Ambitious. Is It Okay?

An alternative path to true contentment

Photo by Armand Khoury on Unsplash

“I don’t need therapy,” my client said.

““I’m happy with my lot,” she said, nestling onto the couch and pulling a cushion onto her knee. “So I don’t know what you’re going to do with me.”

I didn’t either. This was early in my career and she was the first person I met who did not want to change her life. Interestingly, there have not been many since. Most clients who come willingly to therapy want at least one aspect of their lives to be different.

But this woman — let’s call her Barbara — did not. She was in her 50s, single, with chronic type 2 diabetes and related ailments. She had been referred to me by her GP because she urgently needed to lose weight and be more proactive in managing her health. My job was to get her mind to support what her body needed.

But she didn’t want to go for walks, try new physical activities or make dietary changes. She was not ambitious, she scoffed at the suggestion of setting goals, but she was more than happy to come in for a weekly chat. “This is actually quite fun,” she said.

I didn’t have a clue how to help her.

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