“There isn’t any such thing as an ordinary life.”
L.M. Montgomery

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Photo by Atlas Green on Unsplash; Abel Tasman National Park, New Zealand

Being extraordinary seems like a big ask these days.

With a global pandemic and turmoil raging all around us, just getting through the day is a reason to throw a party.

But here’s the thing. Whatever happens out in the world, whether we do great things or nothing at all, we’re still getting older.

We’ve still got less time left on earth than we did yesterday.

And we still have to do something with it.

Why not be extraordinary?

But Extraordinary is Too Hard…

“It never failed to amaze me how the most ordinary day could be catapulted into the extraordinary in the blink of an eye.” …


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Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

“Don’t hold your breath for anyone…” — Erin Hanson

All relationships have their challenges.

Some relationships fall into the difficult camp. And others are just plain toxic.

Here’s a guide to the emotional rollercoaster you’ll go through when you’re in a relationship with someone who has toxic or personality disordered thinking and behaviours.

Read it, knowing you can — and will — be okay on the other side. And, if you are on the other side, read it to validate all that you’ve been through.

1. Fascinating.

In the beginning they’ll be so, so interested in you. They’ll hang on to every word that drops from your lips, they’ll want ALL of your time, they’ll make you feel like the most fascinating person on earth. It’s incredibly seductive; don’t beat up on yourself for falling for it. You’re not alone: Many smart, secure people have been suckered by a toxic partner. …


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Photo: On the Couch

“Tired, tired with nothing, tired with everything, tired with the world’s weight he had never chosen to bear.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald

You’re tired.

Not just a little sleepy, but a deep, bone-weary fatigue you can’t seem to shake.

You go to the doctor, your blood tests come back normal. There’s nothing organically — physically — wrong. And yet. You know you’re way off your game.

Unexplained fatigue is a sign that you’ve hit stress overload, that you’re operating in the red light zone for your mental health. …


“Let your light shine today, and let your personality blossom, too. You don’t have to be a people-pleaser, just a people-lover” — Beth Moore

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Image From Pixabay

How’s your relationship with yourself?

Have you asked this lately? Although we deeply care about our bonds with others, we often can neglect or forget the one we have with ourselves.

In difficult times we can end up losing ourselves unconsciously, leaving behind our essence or feel lost. So self-respect, care and compassion for yourself are essential to your well-being and mental health.

Here are four signs that can help you identify if you may need to prioritize yourself more and how to get back on track. …


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Photo: On the Couch

“If you would be loved, love, and be loveable.” — Benjamin Franklin

Who are you as a partner?

Can you answer that question fully and truthfully? Or does it cause you to scratch your head in confusion?

Everyone wants to get to know themselves better: it’s one of the key reasons people seek therapy or coaching.

But getting to know yourself as a partner adds another layer of complexity because it’s about digging into who you are in relation to someone else, along with all their traits, quirks, needs — and baggage.

It’s requires you to think about how you attach, how you fight, how you “do” intimacy, how you express your needs — and receive theirs. …


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Photo by Marc Najera on Unsplash

You want more from life?

Fair point. Most of us do, whether we say it out loud or not. More money, better health, more prestige or fame, more followers, more friends, more time, more freedom — whatever.

Whatever we want “more of” is personal. But there’s only one way to get it — or at least open ourselves to the possibility of getting it — and that’s to adopt an abundance mindset.

Most of us operate “in scarcity” which means we live smaller than we should: we see limits instead of possibility. We stay in the If Only lane.

If onlyI had my dream job, a six-figure income, a boat/car/bike, a better partner (or any partner), a hotter body. Then… my life would be awesome.


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Image by Joseph Pearson on Unsplash

“The heart was made to be broken.” — Oscar Wilde

So you’ve joined The Breakup Club.

Maybe your split was sudden — a shock from left-field. Or maybe your relationship was on slow-burn decline, you knew the end was coming. And yet it still has you reeling with the finality of it.

Look, breakup is hard, it hurts. Especially if you’ve been together a while and separating means a huge change to your circumstances and the future you were planning.

But even if it was a holiday fling. Or you got ghosted after a flurry of hot ’n heavy text messages. Or you were the one who called time on it. …


“When everything seems to be against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” — Henry Ford

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Image by Pexels from Pixabay

You know you can.

You know you have what it takes to smash it out of the park — lose weight, get ripped, run a marathon, save money, start a business, launch yourself creatively.

BUT you’re not quite ready. You’ve got too much going on. The world’s crazy, uncertain. You just don’t have the head space to focus on your goals.

Therapists hear this often: people desperately want to make changes but their plans keep getting derailed by the ongoing Stress of Life. …


“The beginning is always today.” ― Mary Shelley

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Image by Icsilviu on Pixabay

New year, new page, right?

Time to put the old one firmly to bed — especially if it’s 2020 — and muscle up for a (sort of) fresh start.

After a tough year, plenty of us are amped about turning the page. Trouble is, Covid’s not done with us yet. Which means we’re poised for another year in the holding pen while it sorts itself out.

Perhaps more than any other year in recent history, it’s important we take proactive steps to support our mental health and happiness.

And we can start by ditching — or at least trying to — free ourselves of the things that will hold us back. …


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Image: On the Couch

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” ― (attributed to) Maya Angelou

It was the sucker punch we didn’t see coming.

It was traumatic, confusing, isolating, uncertain; it left us exhausted and shaking our heads about where those 12 months actually went.

Many are still neck-deep in the pandemic and the uncertainty rages on. But 2020 did us one favour. It forced us to think about our lives; about what we want from them, who we want in them, how we spend our time, where the whole ship’s headed. …

About

On The Couch

Practical psychology for everyday life.

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