It’s About How You React to Things — Will: The Disciplines of Stoicism (3/3)
In my last article, I discussed Stoicism’s discipline of action — how we can act to better ourselves and community we participate in. But there’s one more discipline we have to talk about. While we can do things to affect the external world, we also have to remember that things can happen to us. And this is where the third discipline, Will, and this article about it, come in.
Will Defined
To start off, let’s first go back to the concept of action. this discipline governs our approach to the things in our control — our ability to act. On the other side of this coin, Will is what governs our approach and attitude to things that are not in our control. This can be viewed as the actions done to us by people or nature.
Let’s now focus on this notion of control. We can only control things that pertain to our actions, such as our perceptions, emotions, and actions towards others. What we can’t control, however, are things outside of that. This can be people’s responses, acts of nature, or processes of life such as illness and death.
So the question is this: how do we view and handle things that we can’t control?
Control and Your Perception
In the last article, I discussed action and our interconnectedness with others. Like a social version of Newton’s Third Law of Motion — for every action (force) in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction — what we do to others has an effect on ourselves, both good and bad. But in contrast to this, anything outside of our control doesn’t have the ability to harm us. Marcus Aurelius best explains this point in Meditations 4.7–8.
Choose not to be harmed — and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed, and you haven’t been. It can ruin your life if it ruins your character. Otherwise it cannot harm you — inside or out.
When Marcus Aurelius talks about his concept of harm, he’s not talking about physical damage. Of course, you can be physically hurt by flames, cuts, bruises, etc., but the harm he’s talking about here is the harm to your mind, like that of your hegimonikon or “soul.” Yes, you can be physically hurt, but how do you perceive that event to be?
Our mind has an incredible effect on how we view events. When the existentialism philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein was in prison, he noted in his writings that even though his body was held captive, his mind wasn’t, and thus, he was still free. He wasn’t mentally harmed by the effects of the prison. You can go through the worst experiences of your life, your body can be bruised or broken, and you can still find the a strength you’ve never had before as a result of going through that event.
Let’s go back to the introduction quote by Gregory Hayes in Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations.
My impression that my house has just burned down is simply that — an impression or report conveyed to me by my senses about an event in the outside world. By contrast, my perception that my house has burned down and I have thereby suffered a terrible tragedy includes not only an impression, but also an interpretation upon that initial impression by my powers of hypolepsis.
So we have Hayes’ given scenario: his house has just burned down. This event — the house fire — is something that is completely out of his control. As such, he can react in a variety of manners:
- As noted in the quote, he can see the event as a tragedy.
- He can see it as a joyous occasion.
- He can see it as a fresh start in life.
There are other ways he could view this event, of course, but they all start from two things: the view and subsequent interpretation he has regarding the event.
Now at this point in the article I think I should interject something. When we look at how we approach things outside of our control, namely negative things, some may say that this also requires becoming emotionally numb, being stoic (lowercase S emphasized; I’ll write an article about the lowercase stoicism later). This isn’t what I’m trying to convey, nor is what the Stoic philosophers advocating for.
Emotions are the mind’s reaction to an event, and often are a good way to show if a person is dealing with that event healthily or not. The body has to process the even, and this is usually helped with emotions. Death is a natural occurrence, and even though it sucks to see people we know die and we rightly grieve them, we can choose to view it as the person finally being at piece and onto what comes after. This is often seen in the concepts of wakes and funerals; one is the celebration and remembrance of one’s life, while the other is the mourning of their death. Both cover the same event, but the views of such are different between the two.
Will and Wordplay
So we can see how Will is how one chooses to place themselves in relation to an outside event. Does Hayes’ view on life change as a result of his house burning down? No matter the viewpoint he chooses, it does. But in terms of will it’s how he views himself in relation to the event that determines the type of change that occurs.
We see this notion in the wordplay that society uses when discussing different topics. When a negative event occurs to us, words such as victim or survivor are sued. While they describe the same thing — the fact one went through an event — the nuances they hold show a different change in one’s life. “Victim” denotes powerlessness, and that one is still at the mercy of others or the actual event. “Survivor” is the exact opposite; it denotes reclaimed power and strength, choosing to get back up, continue life, and prosper. The event is the same, but the views of the event determine how one goes forward with their life.
As another example, when you go to the gym to workout, do you say “I’m going to tear my muscles and feel unwanted pain!” or “I’m going to get some gains and gain strength?” The event is still the same; you’re breaking down your muscles and body in an effort to get stronger. However, it’s your view of the experience that determines whether or now you’re motivated to return to the gym.
Ways to Use Will
This concept of Will raises a new question: how I use Will to be more successful? There are three ways: shifting our perception; understanding our viewpoint; and being adaptable.
Way 1 — Shift Your Perception
To use Will, we have to be able to shift our perception. By looking at events from different angles, we can ensure that we have a clear, objective picture of the events we are going through.
Way 2 — Understanding our Viewpoints
It’s paramount that we understand how much our view and perception shapes our reality. If we see ourselves as a victim, we’ll slowly begin to live our lives in the victim mindset until we decide to shift our perception and take back the power we lost.
Way 3 — Being Adaptable
We have to be willing to bend with the proverbial wind. Life for sure isn’t an easy ride. Troubles will be present, sicknesses will happen, injuries will occur, but how we see ourselves in relation to those events will determine whether or not we get back. Fighters accept that they’re going to get hit a few times; they can do so much to avoid hits, but it’s an aspect of the game. They accept, too, that even if they get hit, they’re going to keep fighting, because they know that even though they can’t control their opponent, they can control the fight within themselves and what they can put out in order to win the match.
Final Thoughts
Worrying and focusing about things that are outside of our control breeds unneeded anxiety and fear, causing us to lose focus on the controllable things and our approach to the uncontrollable situations. We may not be able to control the stormy seas of life, but we can build our ships in such a way that can handle and weather the storms.
When you focus on what you can control, and adapt to the uncontrollable aspects of life, you gain a certain clarity of what needs to be done to achieve your goals and live a more meaningful, balanced life.
