Stoicism Doesn’t Make You Suppress. It Makes You Accept and Adapt
Stoicism has been misconstrued over the centuries by those who judge the outward appearance of the philosophy’s adherents. Even the colloquial definition of being “stoic” (lowercase “s”) is
any person, action, or thing that seems emotionless and almost blank.
It’s gotten to the point where the word “stoic” is synonymous with being cold and unemotional, suppressing what emotions come to head.
But that isn’t what being Stoic (capital “S”) is about. It’s about recognizing and feeling the emotion in moderation; no more than what’s needed by the body, and no less than what is healthy for body and mind. It’s about maintaining a clear perception in all things and accepting an event that happens in your life and adapting to what life throws at you.
It’s okay to be scared, sad, angry, and feel the full range of human emotion there is. It’s a part of being human. But don’t let it stop you from adhering to and following the Chief Virtues. You can feel the waves crash against the boat; in spite of the storm, you have the control to face the direction of the boat.
Marcus Aurelius best illustrates how a Stoic acts in Meditations 5.3, writing
[h]ow to act: never under compulsion, out of selfishness, without forethought, or with misgivings. Do not gussy up your thoughts. No surplus words or unnecessary actions. Let the spirit in you represent a man, an adult, a citizen, a Roman, a ruler. Being cheerful, without requiring other people’s help. Or serenity supplied by others. To stand up straight — not be straightened.
Stoics aren’t cold. They don’t suppress their emotions. They act in a way that positively builds their character, virtue, and community around them. They feel the emotions everyone else feels, but they aren’t ruled by them.
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