Finding Love and Romance on the Road

“Is it hard to have a relationship when you are traveling all the time?”

Yes, yes it is. It’s very hard.

One of the major downsides to long-term travel is the perpetual singleness that goes along with it. When you are always on the move, you are never in one place long enough to build a lasting relationship with someone. It happens with friendships too. There is the aptly called “five-hour friend.” For a short period of time, you and a stranger are the best of friends but then someone moves on and it’s time to start all over again. You get too good at saying good-byes on the road.

The same is true about romantic relationships.

Right as it’s about to blossom, it’s time for you to go.

But while relationships are difficult to keep, they do happen.

Years ago, I was visiting Cambodia and a group of Swedish girls sat down to talk to me and my friend. One caught my eye. Or, more accurately, I caught her eye. We all went out to a bar later, the girl and I talking mostly to each other. Four months later, we were saying goodbye to each other in Bangkok as she boarded a flight back home.

I was staying in Asia and she was going back to Sweden to study.

Another time, on a tour of Ayers Rock in Australia, I struck up a conversation with a German girl. She became my travel partner for 2 months in Australia. I stayed at her place in Brisbane, and we met up again in Amsterdam the following year.

But despite our best efforts, the distance became too much.

Finding someone on the road isn’t hard.

But finding long-term romance is.

Every day, thousands of travelers get together, fall in love, and then quickly say goodbye as they move to the next city. You can have a whole relationship in a few days. Relationships on the road are much more intense. They happen much quicker. I used to joke with a girlfriend that our three month relationship felt like three years.

And there is some truth to that. On average, a couple will spend four hours per day with each other. On the road, it’s 24 hours a day — and without the distractions of “the real world” getting in the way.

This is not to say that travel romance can’t last. I know lots of couples who have met while traveling and stayed together. I even attended the wedding of one. But I’ve met more people who haven’t found that. Because, in truth, the reality of long-term travel is that the majority of relationships tend to be short-term, with a clear start and end date.

The realities of travel with its desired destinations, time tables, flights, and everything else often gets in the way of staying together over the long term. Eventually your two paths diverge and in order for it to work, someone has to change their entire life and stay with that other person.

Mostly, people have what I call “destination relationships.” You meet someone, you hit it off, and for that place and time, you are together.

Bonds form very quickly on the road, whether a friendship or a relationship. Without life getting in the way, people become instant best friends (or, in this case, an instant couple). You don’t think about tomorrow or the person’s past. You simply enjoy each others’ company for as long as it will last. Maybe that’s 4 months in Southeast Asia. Maybe it’s a few weeks up the east coast of Australia. Or maybe it is just that week together in Amsterdam.

Finding long-term love on the road is not easy when people are always on their own path.

But it’s not impossible either.

Maybe one day I’ll check into a hostel and find my counterpart and we’ll travel the world together.

Anything is possible.

Matthew Kepnes runs the award winning budget travel site,Nomadic Matt. He is also the author of the book, How to Travel the World on $50 a Day, and his advice has appeared on such sites as Lifehacker, The Four Hour Workweek, CNN, BBC,The New York Times, and The Wall Street Journal.