The Entertaining Cheese of The Barbarians (1987)
Once upon a time, when I was a much younger self I saw a movie about twin beefcake barbarians trying to find a magical ruby and I loved it. Not so much for the muscle-bound beefcakes, but for the wise cracking outlaw chick who becomes their friend.
As the years went by, my memory of this fantasy cheesefest began to fade. The movie became lost to obscurity and I never thought I would be able to track it down again — until I stumbled upon it while wading through Comcast OnDemand. My cheesy fantasy loving heart couldn’t resist.
The movie is more or less about a band of traveling performers, who bring joy and happiness and laughter to the world through the power of a magical ruby controlled and protected by a queen named Canary. During their travels they take on a group of orphans — twin boys and a girl — welcoming them into their family. All goes well until they are attacked by a band of barbarians who want the power of the ruby for themselves.
Cheesy indeed this movie is, but not quite as bad as I expected. It included a bit of creative costuming here and there and the acting not so bad. At least not until the twin boys grow up into men and start speaking, which is kind of painful. But that’s okay, because their muscles are huge and oiled to a glossy shine — distracting the viewer from anything that comes out of…
