Grad School: Sleep Deprived and Loving It
It’s been one semester into my first year in graduate school. I’m sleep deprived, (was) stressed out, and loving every moment. That is not to say that there have not been a few moments of challenges and anxiety-ridden nights. Staying up till 3 am to write a research paper, asking one too many questions of my very helpful professors, and complaining to my friends about almost everything that has to do with graduate school as cumulated into a very satisfactory feeling at the end of the first semester.
While I have these emotions now, during these four months I went through many changes that I had not anticipated. First, I moved out of my parent’s house and started living on my own (with roommates of course) which brought a plethora of new and exciting experiences. Second, I felt imposter syndrome for the first time ever, while they say it is common in grad school to feel this, I thought that perhaps my psychology background would help me combat these feelings — I was wrong. There are many lessons that I have learned in the past four months about studying and research skills, time management, and overall wellness management that I’d like to share in this article. Some to just remember for myself as I embark on the second semester of my program, and some in hopes that those reading this will find it useful!
The Moving Out Conundrum
Moving out of your parents home can be a bittersweet experience. While it can be great because you gain a sense of responsibility and confidence in yourself, it can also feel a little overwhelming. The safety net is gone, and after classes and studying all day, you have to cook, clean, and organize yourself while also battling the urge to just flop onto your bed and sleep for the next ten hours!
As time goes on and you fall into a routine, and realize that you still have that last bit of energy left to make a quick meal and read a few chapters. You realize that believe it or not, you can survive and you can get into a routine! While it can be harder at times, it’s important to remember that everyone, at least once in their lifetime has jumped out of the nest, and learned to fly on their own. Granted there will be bumps on the road, and you may fall a few times, you realize that even those that you look up to have gone through the same process.
Moving out is scary, it’s exciting, sad, nerve-wracking, but it’s also just a part of life. Whether it be at 18, 23, or even 30 years old, this roller-coaster of emotions when you leave your nest is inevitable. The important thing to understand that your parent, guardians, and loved ones will be there for you through all these emotions. It is also important to make friends and connections with which you can fuel your social life, and keep from being isolated. I was lucky enough to have really great roommates during my very first experience! Thus, some of my first friendships were with them, making it a little easier to not only to find my way around a new city but also not feel so isolated. Therefore, find a group or at least a couple of friends that could increase social interactions and the need to even just talk to someone about anything!
Do I Belong Here?
Imposter syndrome is a “psychological phenomenon in which an individual will doubt their accomplishments, and have an internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud”. The fear is also that the all that the individual has achieved, they are not worthy of. Imposter syndrome is common amongst grad students, due in part of being in a room full of individuals just as accomplished as them. The stress of coursework and (inner) comparison between peers increases imposter syndrome and can greatly impact mental health.
One's social life, grades, networking skills, and most importantly mental health can be greatly impacted by imposter syndrome. I remember asking myself questions about why or how the administrators picked my application. Comparing myself to my talented peers, and doubting my own work had become a part of my daily routine. When I was doing well in my assignments, I started to doubt the difficulty of my program…a grad program, at a reputed university, …probably not the case. This feeling is common amongst many grad students; having accomplished getting accepted into a post-graduate degree and then being in a room filled with individuals that have accomplished the same, along with many other things.
There are many ways to combat imposter syndrome. Firstly, reaching out and making connections with your peers and professors helps to decrease the feeling of “them against me”. It breaks down the barrier of thinking that you do not belong because the struggles that you are experiencing, your peers are likely experiencing as well. Next, if possible, taking a break from studying once a week, at least in the evening, is not only beneficial to help understand the material (since you are not overworking your brain), it’s also helpful to take a breather from constantly worrying about the material. Finally, talking to a professional about feelings of anxiety, depression, or even just imposter syndrome can be really helpful.
Loving It
Being in grad school is a privilege that I am thankful to have. Working every day to ensure that I stay in the program, enrich my knowledge on a subject matter I’m very passionate about and have a good time doing it! While there are bumps in the road, and many changes that come along with it, all in all, I would say that I’m loving this process.
Thank you for reading! Let me know, is there a new and exciting change in your life you’re excited about? :D
