In which Reverse SAD takes over…
Because I’ve been AWOL due to Reverse SAD, I made nothing in June, and am not going to make much more than that in July unless a miracle happens in the few days or so. Not holding my breath, but I’m open to the possibility.
Being AWOL is never good when you are looking to make income, especially eventual steady income, from anything. But depression waits for no man or woman. For all I know, I could be back in the darkness later today or tomorrow, nothing is guaranteed when you have a mental illness. I take each day literally minute by minute, hour by hour because things can change that fast without my say so. Which can make creating income a giant mountain to climb at times.
But that’s really not an excuse. There were other things I could have been doing that wasn’t as taxing on my mental state, but of course, it’s easier to see that now that the veil has lifted a bit.
Still I march on, aware that it may take me much longer to make any sizable income from my work than other people, but that’s okay. Frustrating, but okay. I can only do the things within my control anyway, and mental illness really isn’t within that control sphere. All I can do is try to mitigate some of the effects, and maybe, just maybe, one day get it to release it’s hold over me.
For some reason, I have been in a remarkably good mood since the 20th. Not sure why, but I’m sure as hell not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. I can barely remember being in a mood this good it’s been so long. And I’m not sullying it with worries about how long it will last or anything like that — it is what it is, and I’ll take it.
That’s my second and third month on Medium in a nutshell. How are your months going?
Update: I earned $.032 for July. I have got to do better than that!
Raiscara is a disabled single mom of one darling daughter. She fights the good fight every day, and somehow generally remains positive, despite her many challenges. Her interests are as varied as the stars, and she blogs at https://www.raiscaraavalon.com.
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