The Masculine Mask
Boys are being brought up to hide their feelings behind a mask of masculinity and to “be a man,” disconnecting from their emotions.
The Wine by nine event dealt with the emotional effects of modern masculinity over men, during its weekly screenings last Tuesday.
The event screened a series of narratives on what men are taught as children to fit in with their male peers, to be one of the guys. Blaming the portrayals of masculinity in culture and media, and the expectations set up around them.
Before the event started attendants were offered wine and had the chance to chat about their idea of masculinity. The screening is part of a cinematographic marathon organized by the SAGE (Students Advocating Gender Equality) club. Exhibiting films every Tuesday 9pm in the Andrey Delchev Auditorium.
The purpose is to inform and clear misconceptions over the LGBTQ+ community and create a space for dialogue. Wine is provided “to wash away all the prejudice and complexes you might have.”
The films emphasized the need for male support groups and mentorship. Spaces where bonds can be formed, support given, and trust established. A sense of tribe, brotherhood, is very important for men of all ages, allowing them to challenge emotions.
Fredric Rabinowitz, clinical psychologist and University professor says“[men] want a place to be honest with themselves and others.” They don’t necessarily think about it, but still feel the pressure of living up to certain norms, sometimes feeling trapped in self-imposed expectations.
Attendants of the event agreed that masculinity is heading to a more inclusive definition. Liberating the pressure of performing someone else’s idea of masculinity.
“Even if part of me has this female expression, it doesn’t make me less of a man,” said Wine by nine organizer Amar Asdeon.
The first film, What Men Fear Most, is a short poetic piece by London-based actor and poet Elliot Barnes-Worrell that “dissects masculinity over a pint and a verse.”
Bloke expressed how his fears inspired the film: “I find it really sad that emotional expression isn’t associated with masculinity. It’s so important to be masculine, it’s something that people kill and die for. If you’re emotional you’re feared and targeted, therefore protecting a false concept of masculine identity is what we do, even at the cost of our mental health.”
The short film is a visual poem read by Bloke about a young man and his father in a pub and the feelings both characters struggle with when the father asks his son how he’s doing. The father is afraid he won’t be able to give appropriate advice, and the son is scared to open up. So they ‘wear a mask’ and conceal their honest feelings.
The Mask You Live In describes struggling boys and men when facing the US’s definition of masculinity.
“The way boys are brought up makes them hide all of their natural, vulnerable, and empathic feelings behind a mask of masculinity,” says psychologist, educator and author William Pollack.
Boys are taught not to cry by the age of five and are expected to have perfected this by the age of ten. This is what former NFL player and football coach, Joe Ehrmann said, remembering his father telling him not to cry and “be a man.”
Boys who express emotions are usually labelled as different, gay, sensitive and are targets of bullying.
The hierarchy in male social circles leads to bullying and boys internalize themselves, leading to depression and in extreme cases suicide. In the US, suicide is the third leading cause of death among young boys.
Some, reach to drinking and drugs to let down barriers. The film also spoke how some men crave for male companionship due to an absent physical/emotional father figure.
Ehrmann refers to the “lies of masculinity,” as masculinity is defined by: athletic capacity and physique, economic success, and sexual conquest. Leading to deeper insecurities, frustrations and possible violent outbreaks.
Past screenings have represented sexually transmitted diseases and gender identity/expression.
The remaining screenings will treat the following topics: femininity/masculinity in women, trans-sexuality, sexuality.
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Sophia Roman Munford is a JMC major who wishes to work in either radio or creative writing in the future.
