Here’s some unsolicited career advice.
People like to put doctors on a pedestal.
But oddly enough, doctors happen to think that funny comedians are special and deserve to be on a pedestal, too. Now, since there are a lot of comedians that are not very funny and do not deserve a pedestal, what’s the opposite of a pedestal? I’d say ground level, or even lower.
In other words, if you bomb as a comedian, you’d be better off taking residence in a hospice, merely days away from your ultimate demise. And when your stand-up jokes fail there, you can actually say, “Hey, I’m dying here,” and be telling the honest truth for the first time in your entire miserable, marginally-funny life.
So, when we finally do contract an incurable cancer, we should bear in mind this career guidance for our final days. Let’s not lie there groaning about our impending mortality — let’s do something certifiably mortifying instead! Alternately, when we feel a cerebral hemorrhage coming on before the cancer kicks in, this same morbid advice is still relevant.
Suddenly, fretting about jokes that bomb seems trivial.