Kids or Promotion: Pick One
Women have a difficult time juggling their families and their careers. This is often due to the perception (and sometimes the reality) that woman are the primary caretakers of their children. This belief goes so deep that dads are praised for “babysitting” their own children. Women are often held back in their careers due to childbirth and the expectation that they must be home to care for their children.
Julie Magid, a professor at a large university, had difficulties when it came to having children in the workplace.
There was one instance when she went for a promotion for a higher profile role at the university. She was passed over for the role and was told that it was because she had small children at home. The role went to a man with kids even younger than hers.
There were many evening social events associated with the role and the assumption was made that she could not handle both the job and her obligations at home. The same assumption was not made for the man who ultimately got the position.
As an employment lawyer, she knew that this decision was illegal. Unfortunately, this conversation was held one-on-one in someone’s office, so if she were to have taken legal action, it would have been a he-said, she-said situation. Furthermore, it would have made a bad impression on her ability to be a team player when it came to future promotions and tenure.
She really wanted this position because she felt that it would further her career goal to become a full professor. This was her goal because no woman had ever been promoted from assistant professor to full professor at her particular university campus. Further, there were female full professors that had come from other universities, but many of them were closer to the ends of their careers than Julie, so when they left no female full professors would remain, which would be a detrimental situation for the university’s students. It is imperative for students to have exposure to professors who are like them because students are at a disadvantage if they cannot relate to their professors. Furthermore, a diverse faculty brings about a wider variety of ideas and perspectives to help students gain a broader worldview. Hearing different thoughts and beliefs is a critical part of higher education. This applies not only to female professors, but also to professors of different races, sexualities, and backgrounds.
Entrepreneur, Amy Nelson, also experienced something very similar to Professor Magid. While she was working as a corporate litigator, after giving birth to her second child, she asked to be considered for a promotion to an open position within the company for which she worked. Her boss told her that they had “discussed it internally” and that “it wasn’t the right time” because she had just had a baby.[1] Amy was stunned by this. She could not believe that her commitment to her job was being questioned because of her status as a mother. At the time, she decided not to report her boss not only out of fear of retaliation, but also because she believed that he was a “good guy.”[2] She writes that “even good guys can be wrong.”[3] This type of discrimination is extremely worrisome, as it penalizes women with children. No one would ever pass over a man for a promotion because he had children. Why, then, would women be punished for the same thing?
As you can tell from these women’s stories, workplaces are not equal between men and women. There are different expectations between genders, particularly for women with kids. There are also other ways in which women are discriminated against in the workplace, in addition to being held back for having children. These other forms of discrimination ensure that women typically have to work harder than men do in order to advance their careers and get noticed.
This is an excerpt from my book, One of the Boys: How to Succeed as a Woman in a Male-Dominated Field. I hope you enjoyed this post — if you want to connect, you can reach me here via email ker73@georgetown.edu or connect with me on social: LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. Also, you can find my book on Amazon — here is the link to buy it: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07KMFPCJD
[1] Nelson, Amy. 2018. “Moms Are Punished In The Workplace, Even When We Own The Business”. The Washington Post.
[2] Ibid.
[3] Ibid.
