Thank You For The Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Unpacking my thoughts on the series’ impact on the eve of my first therapy consultation.
It’s been slightly more than a week since I’ve finished the fourth and final season of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, and one thought remains in my mind:
“I need to go to therapy.”
If you’ve watched the series about a lawyer who quits her job and uproots herself across the country after bumping into an ex-boyfriend, you’ll understand why I’m saying that, but if you haven’t: I don’t mean it as
“I just watched the most disturbing show of my life and OMG I need therapy”.
I mean this in the way of “Wow this show has completely changed the way I view my life choices and career path, and I need to unpack this in a room with a professional to see how I can do better”.
I also mean this in a literal sense:
“I think I need therapy.”
What Was This Show Even About?
Have you ever watched a literal train wreck happen? I think most of us have; either a family member or a friend started going off the rails, and no matter how hard you tried, they refused to listen, so you were forced to just helplessly watch it happen.
That’s kind of how Crazy Ex-Girlfriend feels; like you’re watching a friend going through shit but you can’t do anything about it. That makes for an intense first two seasons of a comedic show about a woman who uproots herself for a guy. Oftentimes, you’re just yelling at the screen, frustrated at what’s happening.
However, if you’re lucky, too, one day, your friend will come back to you. With some help and some changes and personal growth, they’ll rise out of the wreck more mature and less confused. That’s the final season of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (that just concluded in April).
And the thing is, what I just described sounds like a bunch of other shows.
A show about self-enlightenment and self-love?
WHAT A NOVEL CONCEPT.
But this is different.
And the thing is, I don’t know how to explain Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’s innovativeness to you. I’ve tried to, before, but I could only describe it in terms of great TV. I couldn’t explain, more specifically, why you should spend your precious time watching a TV musical, let alone one that ended more than a month ago, and hence has been expertly dissected by critics across the Internet.
I could say that it’s groundbreaking because it manages to incorporate all manner of social issues, from feminism, LGBTQ and minority representation, to mental illness awareness, in 42 minutes of showtime each week.
But others have said this, and better.
So I’m going to just speak about what it has meant to me, personally.
Rebecca’s Internal Mess
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend uses songs that take place inside the protagonist’s head to explain her conflicting feelings about everything.
However, as a serialised comedy, the songs are tough to completely appreciate unless you know the specific plot that inspired the song. You could watch this:
But did you know that it’s a 1980s parody song that takes place because the protagonist gets dumped?
That’s why the songs are so beloved by fans of the show; just like the best musical numbers, they’re enjoyable enough by themselves, but insanely loveable when they’re put in context.
The songs then graduate from “it’s kinda funny, lol” to “oh shit I remember this moment HAHAHA I will quote these lyrics forever!”
So I’ve been listening back to the soundtrack of all 4 seasons quite often, especially from the last 2 seasons, where mental health has become an overarching plot point.
These songs showcase her own journey through the beginnings of obsession, rock bottom, and then soaring.
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Was Witty And Realistic
The thing is, I generally hate shows that beat you over the head with symbolism, but Crazy Ex-Girlfriend works for me.
This show is tailored perfectly for my psyche:
It’s sarcastic as shit, self-aware as hell, and is the first show that focuses on the journey, not the destination.
All their songs and plot points are self-reflective while they’re happening. For example, this one from the first episode:
It helps to calm my doubtful and sardonic brain down, so that I can accept the messages the song is trying to send.
That’s why it’s the show that finally made ne interested in therapy.
In this show, Rebecca’s therapist, Dr. Akopian plays a crucial role in her mental health journey, but this isn’t glossed over every week through generic aspirational “just look into your heart” speeches given by the therapist. In fact, Rebecca, true to her ‘hit rock bottom’ phase, rejects almost all of Dr. Akopian’s advice quite often.
And while I’m not going to spoil what Rebecca’s diagnosis was, it was definitely not decided within a single session, and there were plenty of mistakes made.
Through this show, I learnt that therapy is a process, and not just you sitting in a chair spewing your guts at someone who’s paid to listen.
Through this show, I learnt that therapists aren’t there just to tell you what to do with your life.
Through this show, I learnt that therapists sometimes get it wrong.
Through this show, I learnt that everyone, not just those suffering from mental illness, can benefit from therapy.
Through this show, I learnt that you could have friends that will support you through therapy.
Through this show, I learnt that mental illness can come in many forms, and can have many different types of treatment.
Sometimes there are medications.
Sometimes there’s group therapy.
Sometimes there’s homework (which I still don’t fully understand).
And all of this can be communicated in a way where someone like me, who’s never had a good impression of therapy, can appreciate the hard work of therapists and their patients.
After all, how can you reject this song:
So, even though the show was spectacular in its own right as a feminist, representation-friendly, LGBTQ ally and mental health advocate series, I love the show because it helped me understand the process by which mental illness works.
It helped me understand that mental illness isn’t just one monolithic entity, where medication or just ‘finally speaking in therapy in that one scene’ will fix everything; mental illness and the corresponding treatment is a fucking pain in the ass, but one that will benefit you once you take the first step and book a consultation.
That’s why I am now convinced that I need therapy.
There are way too many reasons as to why I believe so, but suffice to say, I now believe that not going to therapy will hurt me more than me putting myself out there and talking to a psychiatrist.
And while I panicked over the decision for days, I finally picked up the phone and booked a consultation.
This session will happen tomorrow.
And I really fucking hope that it works out, but I also know that it might not, and that it doesn’t mean the death knell or anything; it might just mean that my journey has just begun.
