Combating Perfectionism and Shame After Trauma

Originally published at www.onesurvivorstory.com.

I’ve been inactive for a while, for various reasons: shame, embarrassment, travel (went to Los Angeles & Iceland!), etc.

But most prominently — my temporary disappearance from publishing was due to an overwhelming sense of perfectionism (the shame is constantly pervasive so I won’t count that at this point).

I didn’t want to write unless the final piece could be perfect.

In the Fight, Flight, Freeze theory of threat response types, I’m definitely a flight or freeze. Exacerbated hundredfold by PTSD.

Thus, I froze.

I couldn’t bring myself to write — to act upon my negative thoughts in a constructive manner. I’ve learned through therapy that this is key to addressing PTSD symptoms.

Destructive behaviors and emotions returned: anger (although this can be constructive), substance use as means of escaping, extreme isolation, and the like.

In the spirit of continued self-improvement and progress, I’m writing today to try and combat debilitating perfectionism.

And here I shall prematurely end this post, because it doesn’t need to be perfect.

Follow Jessie on Twitter or email her at hitherejessie@gmail.com.