Chipotle’s New Rewards Program Will NOT Work
Another Mexican restaurant chain has spent its resources incorrectly. The burrito king has announced “Chiptopia”, a three-month summer rewards program that offers free food after four qualifying visits.
Visit Chipotle 4 times or less and you are at “mild” status. Eight times and you reach “medium” status. Savages who eat at Chipotle 11 times a month will receive “hot” status — fitting because it will match what will be coming out of their asshole for the entire month.
I already know this won’t help Chipotle’s recent struggles. Why? Because loyalty cards are more about status symbol than perks.
Look at Starbucks for example. Getting “elite” status has become something glamorous and sought after. White women everywhere flaunt their gold Starbucks cards like they are showing off their overpriced Michael Kors handbag. It’s a status symbol. Starbucks rewards members want you to know they in an exclusive club.
When it comes to Chipotle, nobody should will be proud to be a HOT reward member. It’s actually the opposite. Tell someone you are an elite Chipotle customer and you will get judged faster than the speed it takes Chipotle employees to wash their hands after taking a shit.
