Sales of Cargo Shorts Drop For First Time In A Decade….Well Done, America!

BREAKING NEWS: Sales of cargo shorts have fallen over the past year for the first time in a decade.

Hip hip, hooray!

This is one giant step forward for mankind. Next we need to work on the following…

And if you still insist on buying cargo shorts and are above the age of 18, the following facts probably apply to you:

1. You have not moved past 100 miles of where you grew up
2. You enjoy Carnival cruises
3. You still talk about high-school sports
4. You HATE sushi
5. Your wardrobe consists of clothing from Old Navy and Costco
6. Your beer gut has slowly turned into a keg gut
7. You wear NFL jerseys, casually
8. You think nachos is authentic Mexican food
9. You NEVER leave the country, except for that one trip to the Bahamas 10 years ago
10. You secretly hate your life