Feelings of Guilt and Akimbo’s Sweet 16

Date #730 — Tuesday, November 10th, 2015

B: The art company I work for as Social Media Manager was celebrating their sixteenth anniversary and we were having a big party. Basically a bunch of people from the Canadian art world were going to gather. I was working with the MC to create an interactive piece using social media.

A showed up as the event was starting and I was so happy she was there. A few days ago she kind of lost it on me and I was trying to let it go and let her figure out what she treated me so poorly. When she showed up she was so supportive and I was so happy to see her. I hadn’t eaten all day and was really hungry. The catering didn’t come and, if you read A’s post below, you’ll see she hid a half a sub from me.

It ended up being a really fun night and I was so happy A came and got to meet the art community I work with.

A: I had a couple of awful days. I went out drinking on Sunday and projecting so much stuff onto B when I got home. I basically lost it, emotionally, in a really sobby sort of way. I spent Monday feeling (not only hungover but) really depressed about it all; embarrassed and guilty too. This made Tuesday hard because I always struggle to pull myself out of these ruts. It was a work party for B and I wanted to support him. It was a lovely event with a great host and I met a lot of people B worked with which was nice. I like that I went. I wasn’t sure how long it would go for, however, so I left after a while to let B work freely.

It was raining out and quite cold. I got a sub with the intention to share it with B but I ended up eating it all. That didn’t help my guilt-ridden depression. Heh. Thankfully B is super supportive and didn’t ask me what I ate so I never had to fess up that I scarfed down his half of a sub I bought and never told him about. B came home with pizza, anyway. So it all worked out.

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