Nous Bruce — Day 5
Date #848 — Wednesday, May 4, 2016
B: After staying at a cottage for the first leg of the trip, we arrived at this amazing country home where we would spend two nights. The place was beautiful.
I was in one of the last cars to arrive, so when I got in, the entire place was set up — the food was all packed away, the logistics room was set up. This project had a lot of moving parts and I was really impressed with how well everyone did.
I had to work early in the morning and the Internet at the house wasn’t great, so I drove in to the town of Berkley. Being on my own for a few hours really helped me recharge. I bought a grilled cheese sandwich and some nice yogurt and a ginger elixir for one of the people who was feeling sick.
When I got back A was hanging out upstairs and I was really excited to show her what I got. I felt so energetic! I could tell she was down. She also was working while on the run and had to deal with some film production stuff.
While she did that I explored and found bikes and a creepy room in the section of the house that had burned many years ago. We rode the bikes and then wandered the property. The whole space was so beautiful and the kind of place I could see A and I getting married.
We talked about our very new engagement and all the questions we were being asked, “Do you have a date?” “Where will it be?” “ Will it be in a church?” etc…It could get exhausting. I suggested to A that we come up with a strategy so that we could enjoy every step. We did.
Sitting by the water on the dock was so calming. I felt very at peace there with A.
A: I was so excited to have the day off. B had to work remotely in the early morning and was back by the afternoon. I slept and had a bath and a craft beer and took some photos and had a nap. I pretty much stayed to myself.
When B got back he found me curled up on the couch upstairs. B brought me a cinnamon bun from the cafe where they were working at and I felt really lucky but very unhungry. I think B knew I was feeling down.
We found bikes in the garage of the Airbnb and rode around the county until the bugs came out. We sat on the dock of the little lake and discussed our engagement and wedding for the first time. We decided that the best response to the million questions people were asking that we didn’t know the answers to was, “We haven’t discussed it but when we do we will let you know.”
I don’t remember much of the day but that B’s presence calmed me down. I don’t know if I told B about how I was feeling but I know I was also feeling a lot of engagement pressures and that we talked about that a lot. I think maybe I chalked up my anxiety to the wedding and only the wedding but I realize now it was a combo.
I felt really grateful for being in this place. I love travelling and exploring and the Nous Bruce Project afforded me many luxuries of time and space that I wouldn’t have gotten otherwise. I was happy for the day off (I think I was one of the only runners who got one) and happy to be a part of the big picture, the amazing goal, the incredible team, and I took all this time to tell myself that I needed to act like it. But mental health is a tricky thing. I hope I did okay at coping. I never want to come off as antisocial or rude or ungrateful. It all meant a lot to me, and I hope it showed.
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