Stuck in Bed with Head Trauma
Date #786 — Saturday Jan 30, 2016
A: I think my dizziness peaked on the Friday but Saturday was still spinning. My biggest fear is the possibility that I might be stuck this way forever. I know I must learn to have more faith in my body, but it’s terrifying to blink and be dizzy as fuck. B talks about how I was super resistant to anything that might help and, yeah, I was, because everything I tried made me way dizzier and that’s just not a good feeling. If I stayed still, I was ok. And I just wanted to be ok.
Experiencing dizziness and vertigo after a concussion is normal. It’s abnormal fir it carry on longer than a year, so I’ve gotten an MRI and am waiting for a results. It took 6 months to get the appointment and I won’t have my results until April (the soonest I could get in to see my doc).
This sort of dizziness is caused by crystals coming loose in the ear canal.
A friend of mine told me about this movement called the Epley manoeuvre which is supposed to loosen the crystals, make you dizzy, and move them through the canal and out of the way so you’re NOT dizzy anymore. We tried it. I hate it.
I felt like B was just yelling demands at me instead of trying to understand how awful it felt. I ffelt totally abandoned by my partner and like he didn’t care about what I was experiencing. He wasn’t calm at all, and that make me panic. Filled with anxiety, I basically told him to fuck off. I was so mad.
He eventually came back and apologized. I was still hesitant and mad at him and I didn’t want to even do this with him because I didn’t trust him but he stood by me as best he could and I took a leap of faith. I’m glad I did, but it was really hard.
I still felt dizzy afterward, but it was a bit better moment by moment. To pass the time I did non-screen related things like laundry and reading. Ugh! I hope this doesn’t last forever………!!!!!!
B: A had been complaining about headaches and dizziness since Wednesday and things didn’t improve on Saturday. I was really worried and handled some things well and others poorly.
We were supposed to go skiing/snowboarding, but with A barely able to look down without feeling dizzy and sick I knew that was out of the question. I decided to stay home with her and help figure things out. I asked if she wanted to go to the emergency room and she didn’t. I knew if she started to vomit at all we would have to go.
We theorized on what the issue may be: Was it a residual issue from her concussion? Was it a result from emotional pressures onset by a pretty horrible even earlier in the week? Was it because of severe weather changes and atmospheric pressure? It could be a combination of these things.
Not knowing was scary and frustrating and I tried to be as supportive to A as possible. I brought her ginger tea (said to help) and tried to reassure her.
A has a tendency to resist taking care of herself when she’s feeling sick, and so this can compound the frustration.
A mentioned that the dizziness may be Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo (BPPV).
“BPPV occurs when tiny calcium crystals are displaced from either one or both of the otolith organs of the inner ear and fall down into one of the semicircular canals, disrupting the flow of the fluid of that canal.” via Sweedish.org
She asked me to lookup a treatment I figured out is called the “Epley Manoeuvre”. Basically it involves lying back and turning your head quickly in 3 positions, leaving your head in each position for 30 seconds. Here’s a video on how it works:
A was nervous and resistant. I asked her if she would try it if I coached her through it. I asked, “will you do what I say and follow my directions?” She resisted but eventually agreed.
When we tried this for the first time A’s eyes totally started to shake on the second movement. While it was scary, I could tell it was working. A started yelling at me that she felt sick and asked how much longer she had to keep her head in that position. I was trying to be encouraging but was also panicking a bit. For some reason I couldn’t subtract the time on my watch with the 30 seconds. I got really upset and yelled at A and left the room. It was awful and terrible and I felt so guilty.
Eventually she agreed to try again. We came up with very clear instructions for me. I was to read the time and give her words of support every 5 seconds. As odd as it may sound, knowing exactly what was expected of me really helped me (and both of us I think).
It’s odd how a sickness or trauma can have an effect on everyone. It’s stressful and can be very confusing and scary. Ultimately, what matters is being supportive to the person who is going through the sickness/trauma. When I couldn’t be supportive it would have been better for me to step away and return when I could be supportive. I could have said, “I can’t do this right now. I need a moment and will return when I am ready.” Instead I yelled and acted inappropriately.
Thankfully, Epley Manoeuvre seemed to help. By the next day A was doing a lot better.
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