04/03/2019

Thoughts:

This last end of week was the most stressful period of my life so far. I had to find quickly a place to stay before my trip to Germany, I didn’t manage to make time to draw and read, I got in an argue with a roommate, my phone charger stop working right before finding a place to stay and at work I spend some time on an ugly code with some big and unmaintainable functions. After I finish moving in the new place, I hoped for a good night sleep, but because of some party on a restaurant nearby I didn’t got more than three hours. All of this gave me some headache and during almost all my week-end my mind kept focusing on the wrong stuff and how everything may go even worse. It felt like an emotional inhibition, trapped in that fearful state. I just lost control over my mind and the bad emotions start taking over. I felt how anxiety start growing and the bad tension filling my body . I just saw everything falling down, then and in the future, like I can’t have anything to say about it. Fear start taking over the little rationality that I had.

This experience help me to see myself more clearly, finding how little emotional intelligence I possess and how extreme my emotions can become. That I go to deep some time for my own sake. Luckily I start reading Emotional intelligence by Daniel Goleman and help me see my problem. Emotional intelligence is self-knowledge understanding your emotion and maybe even the root cusses. Learn to snap out of bad states by focusing you attention on the solutions and not the problem. Take little steps of action to the right direction and start over again. Action beats anxiety, and doing the things you said you will do builds up confidence. Courage is taking the initiative even if you are screed as fuck.

Notes:

You grow by taking more responsibility, because you have too. If you don’t you will be crushed by all the things you choose to ware on your shoulders.

Tension and pain is necessary for growth.

You are where you chose to be.

Don’t forget to be kind

Currently reading: Emotional intelligence by Daniel Goleman