14/01/2019
Thoughts:
The questions are the answers, so let’s try to find some better questions for your life. For example: What are you? How you perceive yourself? So if I detach from myself and look down on me what I see a flashy little creature that has different strange behaviors that allow him to survive in this social and urban context. Now let’s change the point of view and see the history of this creature from it’s birth until now. The moment of my birth is very blurry I don’t recall how conscious come in to play and how I become aware of my reality, but it’s clear to me that on the first months my conscious and vision were not so clear and bright like now. Also I was deeply overwhelmed by my emotions and what was happened inside and outside of me. Some emotions from childhood really stuck with me, I feel them like there were yesterday, mostly I felt fear, anger, pain but also love. I was afraid of loneliness and ridicule so all my school performance was driven by fear and ego. Despite the fact that I hated school I liked to read and discover interesting facts about the world. So I become interested in the whole variety of animals and with this I started working on my drawing skills filling many notebooks with sketches of animals and data about them. After some time I started drawing faces, right before going to university. University was easy cake because of my very effective drivers: fear and ego. But at the age of 22 when I lose completely control over myself, I reach a point when I couldn’t stand myself and I shout to myself something like: ‘Don’t you had enough, stop being so pathetic, stop praying and start doing’. Sometimes rock-bottom is the best foundation to build up. So step by step ( with baby steps ) I replace my destructive habits with better ones, I start waking up early, reading like a maniac, searching help, listen to good stuff, planning my day, go to sleep early, running and moving more everyday (being more practical). My last year at university I simply just crush it, I was also working and doing my diploma project. I was so fired up I felt that I could bend reality at my will and I literally did it. After all the tasks were done I start getting sloppy, meaning I lose the intensity of the fire, but I kept the good habits. I the last year I expand more than I did in all others years combine and I’m sure that the future growth will be just exponentially or at least double with every year. Now that I look back to the entire road I am just amaze by all the struggle that this body can endure, how much you can push yourself, how you can reshape and create yourself, how important is to become a learning machine, what impact can have some good habits, how important is self-education and choosing to get better everyday (with yourself and your craft).
Notes:
Don’t let the school to get in the way of your education
Kill ANTs (Automatic Negative Talk)
Don’t lose the target, remember the important information
This is just the warm-up
Daily checklist:
Daily Song: Sam Tinnesz — Legends Are Made
Currently reading: Mastery by Robert Greene
Currently listening: Waking Up A Guide to Spirituality Without Religion By Sam Harris
Daily Lesson: Pay more attention to what are you doing
Daily Draw: Jim Kwik sketch
