25/01/2019

Published in

One year journaling challenge

4 min readJan 25, 2019

Thoughts:

Truth is so goddamn important, first with yourself and then in relation with others. Truth will always offend is no other way, first it needs to make you realized and feel uncomfortable about your shortcomings in order to take action and improve. Truth will set you free but first will pisses you off, something that come easy will fade in the same way, all the valuable, long lasting things in life comes from struggle, diligence, discipline, overcoming your excuses, problems and limiting beliefs. I know this because two years ago I was in my personal version of hell, my own creation. In my first two years to university I gradually build two bad habits the fuel each other: masturbation and pornography I used them as way of relief for all the stress I was having regarding university, especially in the first year. But in the second year the stress was gone but the bad habits remain, and now the habits were controlling me not vice versa. So in the end of the second year at university I was living in the lowest pit of my personal hell, with no self-control, no self-esteem, complete disgust over what I become. The worst part was that I deserved it fully. So there on the rock bottom of my life I need to confront reality and realized these fundamentals truths: that nobody is coming to save me from myself (my bad habits), that I was the only one who could turn my life around, that my life is 100% my responsibility and that if you don’t have peace with yourself, being comfortable with who you are when nobody is around, anything else doesn’t matter (is just noise).

After I realized these things I needed to take action and plan the path for getting to a better place. The principal keys that help me to get back in control are simple but not easy. Frist avoid any trigger that you now my arise in you the bad patterns of behavior that you despises and try to avoid. Second gradually (with baby steps) replace the bad habits with good ones, channeling your demons in something productive, for me it was self-development. During this process you need also to deconstruct your perverted mindset, kill the ANTs(automatic negative talk), destroy the bad patterns of thinking. It’s hard to directly attack the mind, so you can start with you body (like I did). By changing you body you show to the mind what is possible, even more you make your mind wonder of what else is possible. Like someone said: your actions signals back to you who you are, also you get momentum by doing and emotion by motion. You build or destroy yourself with every moment, be always on the watch. To make this process of transformation more easy you need to truly accept, love and respect yourself, if you don’t do it will be very hard for you to change.Also if you think that you don’t deserve the effort and that you are not worthy of love and a better life don’t expect others to do it for you. This is your life, you are fully responsible for it, living is an art and you are able to create a masterpiece.

Notes:

“The moment you lied to me, I’m more important than you, you just sold yourself out to get away with something. You just step down, you didn’t stay true with yourself, you just become a fake, a coward to please me. You are not you anymore and I’m somebody who you won’t even tell the truth to. What is happening on earth? Nobody is being real at all in the moment when a lie happens” — Lauren Zander

Who can stop you to grow in this era?

This life is your only shoot to reach greatness at something, don’t waste it

The truth will set you free but first it will piss you off

Put your crap on paper and evaluate it

Rome was not build in a day but didn’t fall in a day either

You obtain freedom when you expose yourself to the world