“I Can’t Believe I Just Said That” Top 20
Crazy Things We Say To Our Kids
There are times in our lives where we often ask ourselves, “Did I really just say that?” Anyone that has or had children will pretty much agree that this is a normal occurrence in our daily lives with tiny humans.
If you are on the fence about having a sweet little gremlin of your own one day; be prepared to say things you never thought you would. Also, be prepared to repeat them at least a dozen times a day for the rest of eternity.
Before my oldest came along in 2015, I was given loads and loads of advice on what to expect throughout pregnancy and parenthood, but I didn’t really think about the craziness that would come after the baby stage. Of course, as a new parent, I had those rose-colored glasses on and clung to that “I’ve got this” attitude like it was a second skin. I was basking in the new mom glow, and before I knew it, we were out of the baby stage and went straight to crazy town where we now reside.
No matter who you are, where you are, or what your parenting style is; I am positive that you have had to say something similar to at least one of the following phrases in the last year:
1. Don’t lick your sister.
2. Don’t sneeze in people’s faces.
3. Stop growling at me and use your words, please.
4. You can’t wear socks in the bathtub.
5. Don’t put your finger in anyone’s butt.
6. Don’t pee on your sister.
7. M&Ms don’t go in your nose.
8. Mustard is not a breakfast option.
9. No, you can’t just eat mustard (or any other condiment).
10. Mayonnaise is not White Jelly.
11. Don’t wipe your boogers on people.
12. I can’t marry you. I’m married to your daddy.
13. No, you can’t marry your sister.
14. Please don’t fart in your sisters’ faces.
15. You don’t need to tell me every time you fart.
16. We are not lost, and we are not going to die. We just went a different route home.
17. Don’t eat the chalk/crayons.
18. Don’t tie things to your penis.
19. Your penis is not a helicopter. Please stop trying to spin it around.
20. We don’t brush our teeth with toilet water!
Special note on this one: We were getting ready for bed and going through our routine. I was with the kids in the bathroom and helping them. My 2-year-old had put her toothbrush in the toilet to get the brush wet instead of the sink before I could stop her. She did not put it in her mouth. They all got new brushes the next day and the bedtime routine continues to be monitored to keep shenanigans to a minimum.
This is just a small list of the things I have had to say to my children over the last year and I am sure that more will come over time. It is never boring in a house with children, and I swear they will do everything in their power to top the previous crazy just to see how fast mom will lose it and book a room at the nearest hospital for evaluation.
