I wonder why many of us are so bad at improving ourselves. We so desperately want to improve but we struggle quite a bit nonetheless. It makes me think that we’re addicted to the aspects of ourselves that we’d prefer to change. Perhaps it’s that it’s easier, even in the face of it being worse.
I know for myself, it’s probably the second. Making change requires effort. Not just one big effort but lots of small ones. Even if I’m willing to make that effort early on, it doesn’t tend to stick. Even knowing that I’m falling back into a place I don’t want to be.
It makes me wonder why I struggle so much to do better. Sure, sometimes the worse thing feels better. At least, in the moment. That could be part of the problem. All I know is that I’m struggling to struggle, at this point.