The bad boyfriend
A real life banner ad
You have a bad boyfriend. Well maybe you don’t, but for the next little while, let’s pretend you do. And let’s assume that he’s the kind of guy that no one really likes, he’s intrusive, loud and always talking, never listening. The problem is that he’s been with you a really, really long time and when you first met him he really didn’t seem this bad. He’s the real life version of a banner ad.
So, what can you do about it? Unfortunately, you can’t just keep him hidden away in a closet, he is what he is, and you’re going to have to make the best of it.
You could start by controlling who sees him.
Maybe only bring him around the people that have shown, in some tangible way, that they like you. If they like you, they will obviously like him, right? And I don’t mean just once, I mean ALL THE TIME. Make sure you’re boyfriend is at every single place they go from then on, that won’t get annoying.
You could dress him up.
Maybe pimp up his wardrobe, even try alternating clothing styles and see which outfit get’s a better response. Disguise him as the kind of guy that people actually want to be friends with. Then, your friends won’t know until the last minute that he’s actually a bad boyfriend, just wearing khakis.
Finally, if that doesn’t work, you could start making excuses for him. Compare him to all the other really bad boyfriends, and if he’s even just slightly above that horribly low average, celebrate!
Or you could just dump him and find something better.
Yes it will mean that you have to try a little harder, possibly spend some nights alone. It will be worth it though, because when you do find that really good guy, the one that everyone loves and always wants to have around, without any tricks, it will all pay off. No more need for super-controlled outings (re-targeting), no more constant wardrobe testing (creative optimization) and no more weak comparisons to all the other people that have bad boyfriends too (happy with a 0.06 CTR?).
Let’s stop trying to optimize the bad boyfriend and instead just dump him and find something better.
After all, we’re worth it.
