How to Start a Conversation on a Dating App: Tips and Tricks for Success

Adam Cohen
Online Dating Adviser
6 min readSep 15, 2024
How to Start a Conversation on a Dating App

So you’ve finally swiped right, but now you’re staring at that blank message box, wondering what the heck to say. With everyone getting bombarded by messages, how do you make yours pop? Don’t sweat it — I’ve got your back with some tried-and-true tips and killer conversation starters to help you shine.

The Best Dating Apps To Meet Singles In The USA

What to Talk About on Dating Apps and Sites

When it comes to chatting on a dating app, you wanna keep it light and fun. First, try to figure out what your match is into. Stalk their profile (in a non-creepy way) and find some common ground. But if you’re still stuck, here are some universal topics that can get the conversation rolling.

What do you like to do on the weekends?

This is a solid opener. It’s casual and shows genuine interest. Knowing someone’s hobbies helps you see if your interests align. Plus, you can dive deeper — ask about their favorite activities, how often they do them, and maybe even suggest joining them sometime. It’s a great way to connect without being too forward.

Who are the closest people in your life?

This question gives you a peek into their world. Understanding who they spend their time with and who matters most to them helps you gauge their values. It can also lead to some heartwarming stories and deeper connections. Plus, if they mention family or close friends, you can share your own stories too, making the convo more personal.

What would you like to learn?

This is a fun one that can lead to some fascinating discussions. Everyone has something they’ve always wanted to try or learn, and this question shows you’re interested in their personal growth. Whether it’s learning a new language, picking up a musical instrument, or mastering a cooking skill, it can open up a lot of fun, engaging topics. You might even discover you both want to learn the same thing, which is a perfect bonding opportunity.

What is your passion in life?

This one’s deep, but it’s a great way to see what really makes them tick. Understanding what drives someone can tell you a lot about their values and whether you’re likely to click. It’s also a great way to see if you share any passions. Plus, people love talking about what they’re passionate about, so this question can lead to some really engaging conversations.

How to Start a Conversation With a Girl

Feeling nervous about messaging that cute girl you matched with? It’s totally normal. Here’s how to break the ice and start a conversation that’ll get her attention.

Compliment her

Girls love compliments, but make sure they’re sincere and specific. Instead of the usual “You have beautiful eyes,” notice something unique about her — her hairstyle, a piece of jewelry, or her sense of style. A genuine compliment shows you’re paying attention and sets a positive tone. But don’t overdo it — one or two compliments are enough to start things off. Too many can come off as insincere or even creepy.

Highlight something in common

If you noticed a shared interest in her profile, bring it up. Maybe you both love hiking, share a passion for a certain type of music, or have similar travel goals. Mentioning this can create an instant connection. It shows you’ve taken the time to read her profile and that you’re genuinely interested in her as a person.

Send a joke from her favorite series

If she’s a fan of a particular show and you’ve seen it too, use a line or joke from it. Humor is a great way to bond and shows that you’ve paid attention to her profile. It can also set a fun and relaxed tone for your conversation. Just make sure the joke is appropriate and something she’ll get.

Share a random but interesting fact

Stand out from the crowd with something quirky. Did you know honey never spoils? Or that octopuses have three hearts? These little tidbits can spark curiosity and make your message memorable. It’s a fun way to break the ice and can lead to some pretty interesting conversations. Plus, it shows you’ve got a bit of a quirky side, which is always a plus.

Offer to discuss the news

If something big happened recently, why not use it as a conversation starter? Especially if it’s something you know she’s interested in, it can lead to a deep and engaging discussion. It shows you’re aware of current events and can discuss them intelligently, which is always attractive. Plus, it can help you gauge if your views align.

How to Start a Good Conversation With a Guy

Ladies, guys appreciate when you take the initiative. They value genuine interest, simplicity, and ease of communication. Here are some great conversation starters to help you connect with that guy you’ve been eyeing.

If you could get on a plane now, which country would you go to?

Travel is a topic that brings out positive emotions. It’s fun, adventurous, and reveals his future plans and interests. It’s also a great way to see if you have similar travel goals and can even lead to discussing dream vacations together.

What is your dream job?

This one’s great for gauging his values, ambitions, and what he’s passionate about. Whether he’s after money, knowledge, or high positions, it’s a window into what drives him. Plus, it can lead to discussions about career goals and aspirations, which is always interesting.

What do you like to talk about the most?

This unusual opener shows you’re genuinely interested in him. It’s a sweet way to get him to share his favorite topics, making him feel special. Plus, it gives you a great starting point for future conversations and helps you understand what makes him tick.

What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?

This one’s a winner for first dates too. It tells you about his adventurous side and flexibility. Whether he’s gone skydiving or moved to another city on a whim, it’ll give you a sense of his personality and how he handles spontaneous situations.

What is your favorite movie?

Everyone loves talking about movies. His favorites can give you a peek into his personality and what he enjoys. Plus, it’s a great way to find common ground and maybe even plan a movie night together.

How do you like to spend your morning?

Are they an early bird or a night owl? Do they rush out the door or enjoy a slow start? These details can help you see if your lifestyles align. It’s a great way to understand his daily routine and see if you’re compatible in the long run.

Online Dating Conversation Tips: A Bit of Extra Recommendations

  • Be attentive to profiles. Even if someone’s profile seems sparse, look for clues. Are they creative? Do they travel a lot? Use these tidbits to make your conversation more interesting. It shows you’re observant and genuinely interested in getting to know them.
  • Ask questions at the end of your messages. This keeps the conversation going and shows you’re interested. It’s easy — just follow up with “How about you?” or a related question. It encourages them to share more and keeps the dialogue flowing.
  • Say compliments. Everyone loves a good compliment. Just make sure it’s relevant and sincere. Personalize it to make it more meaningful. A genuine compliment can go a long way in making someone feel appreciated and valued.
  • Note commonalities. Pointing out things you share in common draws a connection between you two. It shows you’re serious about getting to know them. It can also make the conversation feel more natural and less forced.
  • Be simple and express sympathy. Sometimes conversations don’t go as planned. If things get awkward, be kind and understanding. It’s all part of the process. Don’t take it personally — just move on and try again.
  • Be considerate. Pay attention to the little things. Notice how they respond, their interests, and be willing to compromise. It shows you’re thoughtful and considerate, which is always a good trait.

So…

So there you have it, all the top tips for starting conversations on dating apps. Be patient, believe in yourself, and you’ll find the right person in no time.

Now, what about you all? Got any killer conversation starters or hilarious first message stories? Drop them in the comments!

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Adam Cohen
Online Dating Adviser

Editor on OneBeautifulBride, writer, travel lover. I create the most relevant content that helps single people and couples to build strong relationships.