8/22/17 — Expression

Reighn & Doug
Aug 22, 2017 · 3 min read

This is in response to your letter

Thank you so much for your letter the other day. I missed it, just didn’t realize how much our communication is very important to our relationship. There’s that immediate enlivenment of intimacy knowing your inner feelings and thoughts that don’t readily come up in daily talks.

It’s sad that we can’t be that open to each other vocally, hopefully one day we can get over our inhibitions and feel free to talk about stuff like that in the open. I believe our inhibitions stem from our fear of being judged — that’s why we choose to write them so we don’t have to worry about the other person’s immediate reaction and you can also choose the time for when you’re ready for the other person to receive/read your words.

Maybe a new goal for us is to express our feelings about something as it arises.(of course, our limited time together does not always allow for this original expression to come out…the feeling or passion may be lost through time). If one of us does not like it, then we should learn to argue for/against it, learn to share our initial gut reaction. Maybe this is complete honesty or a path towards understanding each others thoughts in a better light. This is what I’ve been trying to do when talking through things with you, in which you tend to shut down and process things, and I egg you on to try to get it out usually in vain, since I present myself in an aggressive manner. But I think we’re at a point in our relationship in which we understand any sort of argument, or disagreement, or opposing viewpoint that we are to have will be taken to be as it really is, without excess emotional damage towards the other. So we are at this point in our relationship in which we can handle the other’s reaction. So where do we begin?

I believe we can begin now right in this moment. If there is something on our mind then we should share it. I know for me personally I have difficulty sharing my personal interactions with others or of others with you. For example:stories shared with my coworkers are typically things that I feel are irrelevant…you are not present for these conversations and to explain them would be a silly use of our time together (at least to me!). I’m learning to communicate with others and at the same time I’m learning to share these moments with you because they are a part of who I am.The interactions I have with others are a reflection of who I am, what interests me, and what people are influencing my life.

Here is something I’d like to throw it out there, which I know it’s difficult while you have a child in tow or when you are often fearful of driving while tired (and another reason why I feel our relationship will flourish once we get ourselves out there when your parents arrive!): I want you to continue to develop relationships.

I am at a point in my life I understand the depths of building relationships which I had never done before even with my closest friends. I feel like you have had these types of relationship in the past in the Philippines with the previous work, and that is a difficult thing for you to do with the limits of your work culture now. So my goal for you is for you to seek out more relationships, really think about potential relationships you can develop, such as some of your Filipino friends or even reach out to anyone in general just to spend time there. Be creative. you may have already given this much thought and have concluded to rest at home…but I would like to know what you think.

Online Journey

It’s our online writing process

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Reighn & Doug

Written by

A couple of people coupled up for life

Online Journey

It’s our online writing process

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