Cerebral Civil War

Mind spinning like roulette, I am not able

To let my thoughts reset, and clear the table

Of all the pictures, and all the memories

I still feel your fingers, but have a tendency

To forget your poison, forget your infidelity

Cool air from the late fall, our favorite season

I’m playing football, and you’re in the stands screaming

This is more than just bliss, this is a whole new feeling

Jersey still on, we kiss, but my heart stops beating

The game is over, but I still think I’m competing

I felt like a king, but with no confidence

Unrequited feeling, that was my hypothesis,

Blaming myself by nature, questioning my competence

My own biggest hater, me, being the confluence,

Of all this negative energy, of all this nonsense

My self made infection, my own worst enemy

Talk myself out of affection, with extreme zealotry

Vendetta against myself, my final frontier

Deprive myself of relations,because they interfere

With my confrontation of perfection and fear