Loren Purcell

SF Slang

Jessica Saia and Sarah Han present totally made-up words for life in San Francisco



Realizing that you’ve driven too far on Octavia to do anything but get on the freeway.


(Doogie, for short): A millennial boss.

Realizing that your day-to-day life in SF isn’t suitable for a parental visit.


Studying the menu at Dolores Park Cafe to give the impression that you’re going to do something other than just use the bathroom.

Accidentally wandering into the Folsom Street Fair.


A quick, silent exit to the bathroom when your Mission burrito doesn’t sit well with you.


The painfully obvious lack of interest experienced when listening to someone explain the new app they’re working on.


Running to catch public transit and not actually making it.


The elation one feels when the rest of the city is on The Playa.


Checking for evidence of bedbugs in thrift store furniture.


When a Google employee coyly slips into conversation that s/he “works in Mountain View.”


The feeling of annoyance when an errand forces you to wade through the tourists and street kids of Upper Haight.


The miraculous but rare Muni bus that appears right when you get to the stop.


The scent of stale human urine on the street.


The battle between roommates over who will cave and buy the toilet paper next.


When European ex-pats use their accents to get out of tipping.


Being stoned on a weekend and running into a coworker.


A flatulence strategically timed with the roar of a BART train running under the Bay.


The anxiety one feels that the curtain could be pulled mid-wipe while using that stall in the Hemlock Tavern’s women’s bathroom.

Thinking you can leave for the day without a jacket, only to be very, very cold upon sundown.